Open Mic Night – Gus_802

“Goodnight, and peace off.”

You knew. Everybody knew.

[Vivisection of Charles Johnson’s original rant here.]

Heureux Mardi Gras! Mettez à jour votre photo, gros garçon Charles!

Fais-le, gros cochon!

Yep. It’s fatass Tuesday. Have at it. 😀

There is Bad Craziness.

Classic panel from Bite Me Comics (and we still don’t know who that brilliant snarker was) but check this out.

Charles Johnson’s Little Green Footballs Alexa ranking is falling faster than [-fill in the blank-].

After all our help? This blog has provided more traffic to Little Green Footballs than Rosie O’Donnell has done to promote feminism, or something like that. You get the idea. We link to LGF, Rosie doesn’t, and Charles  Johnson has a Mossberg.

Ride the Decline, Charles, and check out the rat brain death graph. Compare the similarities and come to your own confusions.

[Sources here and here.]

Charles Johnson Said Kathy Griffin didn’t go far enough with her stupid decapitation stunt.

Ramping it up, are we, Charles? We can play that game, too.

There was a time when someone said he/she wanted to see Johnson’s head on a pike. Johnson screamed bloody murder and claimed it was a death threat, until ISTE jumped in to fill the request.

[Top image h/t @Beerbarron32 via dezes157. Bottom image from here.]

Within Striking Distance: Charles vs. Charles

Every so often it’s kinda fun to ask Ms. Alexa how Little Green Footballs is faring in the blogosphere, and she always responds with, “Heh. This is too funny. Check it out.”

So we download, screencap and graphically enhance recent results (without altering the easily verifiable statistics) and post them here for chuckles.  We also post them here for Charles’ benefit, because he doesn’t check Alexa and doesn’t read here. So let’s go.

Alexa 151107 Stats 1

Yeah, Little Green Footballs, despite being run by a self-described code minkey, loads slower than 2/3rds of the rest of the world’s websites. He’s got it so crammed with adverts, pop-ups and unnecessary code that scrolling through comments, let alone trying to navigate through his spazblog, sucks big green donkey Johnsons.

Here’s his traffic profile spanning the past 6 months:
Alexa 151107 Stats 2

Interesting. Not sure what bumped the LGF traffic in late May 2015; perhaps it had to do with the GOP Presidential race, and that the entire world wanted to read Charles Johnson‘s vapid assessment for amusement.

There’s no point in comparing Charles Johnson‘s Little Green Footballs’ stats with Breitbart, AtlasShrugs, Ace of Spades or GatewayPundit because Little Green Footballs flatlines at the bottom of the graph. (We’ll bet that even Leo Sayer‘s fansite gets more traffic, but we haven’t checked.)

Instead let’s try this comparison between LGF and GotNews.
Alexa 151107 Stats 3

So here’s the gist.

Alexa 151107 Stats 3c

CCJ/GN is trending upward and catching up to CFJ/LGF, and CFJ/LGF is trending downward and catching down to CCJ/GN. It’s like matter and antimatter converging, and once it happens, they’ll exchange clothes, shoes and recipes, and start all over again.

Have at it.

The Anniversary of Killgore Trout’s Midnight Run To Smear HotAir With Racism On Behalf of Charles F. Johnson

It Was On 18 September
A Night We’ll Always Remember.

Six years ago today The Flying Monkeys of Charles Johnson’s Little Green Footballs began an astroturf campaign against HotAir. With no evidence to back up Johnson’s accusation that HotAir was a racist website, LGF operative Killgore Trout paid them a visit while the moderators were asleep and provided the “evidence” himself by posting offensive racial comments and daring the moderators to delete them… beginning at 12:34AM and running to 2:01AM. You can read the full diatribe here, but here’s a snippet:

Killgore Rant Condensed

“Little Green Footballs. It’s only me.” – Charles F. Johnson.

You can read the full racist rant here, as well as a write-up on Killgore Trout’s Midnight Run in here. Meanwhile, there’s this:


Listen, my children: I’ll tell you about
The Midnight Raid of Killgore Trout.

On Eighteen September, Two Thousand and Nine,
“HotAir” got a troll who was way out of line.
He wrote that he thought that their morals were lacking,
And posted rude words (while the Owners were napping).

He wrote on the blog, with a great deal of sarc,
“Here’s an “n” word or twenty; it’s just for a lark;
And if you don’t find that obnoxious and funky,
I’ll throw in the name of a famous space monkey.”

And Charles approved of that lame Racist Rant,
And grinned at the work of his best sycophant.
“You shouldn’t have done it, but I’m glad you did;
Expose all those racists!  You blew off the lid!”

His Raid is now legend, and like it or not,
It’s been well-recorded, and won’t be forgot.
Good, bad, or indifferent, he has no denial;
As Trout will admit, with a wry, sheepish smile.

[H/T swamprat June 9, 2012 at 3:27 pm]

Related posts documenting Charles Johnson’s Astroturfing.



The Wide World of Charles

Once in a while we need to step back from The Little Green Footballs World of Wonder and post something completely unrelated to prevent the News of The Swamp from coagulating on your monitor and compacting your lower intestines.

I’ve always been curious about the history of language and etymology, and I found a mildly interesting site called “Word Map.” Type in a word, and it displays global locations and various translations.

This experiment brings together the power of Google Translate and the collective knowledge of Wikipedia to put into context the relationship between language and geographical space.

Take it for a ride, then come back. We’ll wait.
Of course, most of us aged juvenile delinquents are inclined to enter one or two (or all) of George Carlin’s “7 Words You Can’t Say On Television” just to see the results, and I did just that.

Then I thought that there must be a word that doesn’t have global meaning, one that is a bit slang and profane at the same time, so I typed in “Penis Penis Penis LOL.” Phrases don’t work well on that site, but I found that the world is full of dicks, even though you already knew that. At least it proved my theory.

There was only one word left.


That’s an Honest-to-God screencap. Click to stupify.

Gus can’t tweet due to knees hurting

It seems Gus will have to cut out on tweeting becasue his knees hurt.

Knees hurt

That’s some cramp space Gus is living in.

Saturday Night Karma – A time lapse of Charles Johnson

Bad Karma Day for Charles Johnson
1st Car: Diary of Daedalus;
2nd Car: The BRC;
Result: Menuboard destroyed.

Meanwhile there have been some requests to repost LGF oldies, so since it’s Saturday Night,  let’s rip it up and tear it up. From July 2007, here’s an LGF post about an obnoxious girl with bigger balls than Charles has.

CJ on Wonkette 2007

Okay, Charles. You gonna walk back that Wonkette attack, or you gonna eat what she scrapes off her bathroom floor?

CJ Hawaiian Shirt 2007