A Little Green Memorial Day

“Even in 2003, way before Little Green Footballs was on anyone’s radar, Charles Johnson was paranoid and couldn’t trust his own few commenters to police themselves on a Memorial Day weekend, so he shut off comments on LGF for four days.” – ChenZhen

Here are some more Memorial Day memories from the BRC Archives.

[The following is in reference to (then) Senator Obama’s Memorial Day speech, which was ripped apart by others as a total fabrication. Obama’s great-uncle served in the Navy.]

Charles was once harder than anyone.

Yep. He kicked Google CEO Erich Schmidt’s ass all over the internets because he said so, and still managed to make a national day of remembrance all about Charles Foster Johnson.

15 years ago on Little Green Footballs : Hamas

Very coincidental topic given the recent attacks by Hamas.

The first link in the post goes to the Middle East Forum:
CAIR: Islamists Fooling the Establishment
The second is a link to a long-gone U.S. News Wire story. Images courtesy of BRC Engineer Nil Stooge (RIP).

[Updated with direct link to Middle East Forum article. A Wayback Machine search  produces no archive of “CAIR: U.S. Muslims Say ‘Siege’…” and usnewswire.com is defunct. – Briareus]

Tweets From Someone Who Is Definitely “not in a blog war with anyone”

From the Department of Never Before Posted Archives:

It’s been almost a year since we saw this:

Of course, the reason we do a lot of “screen-shotting” is because Charles has a tendency to make stuff disappear, perhaps more so than any other blogger on the web…

In any case, between then and now, we’ve seen the self-identified blog pacifist post endless threads taking unprovoked shots at Pamela Geller, Robert Spencer, Andrew Breitbart, Hot Air, and Gateway Pundit (just to name a few).  So, already we can see that CJ’s statement there is pretty ridiculous.

As far as we’re concerned, however, teh Johnson has had to be a lot stealthier when it comes to the warfare.  After all, he’s on record that he doesn’t visit our site. But for some reason, he knows an awful lot about what goes on.  Let’s see what kind of things he’s done in the past year on offence and defense, and in reaction to us.

Bogus “tweet counters”. When we spread the word that Johnson’s the numbers used in his “retweet” boasts had nothing to do with retweets, he held a private thread, sent desperate messages to bit.ly, and eventually posted this:

(It didn’t work, and the “tweet counter” remains busted to this day).

Last saved as a draft file by Chen Zhen on 8 January 2012 and it’s never seen the light of day.

Iowahawk Plays The Blues and Nancy Johnson Claims Innocence.

Okay, Charles, let’s do the Name Game.
“Nancy, Nancy, Bo-Bancy, Banana-Fanna Fo-Fancy, me-my-mo-mancy, Nancy.”
“Let’s do Chuck!” Unedited from the BRC Archives:

02056120 17639 77 Charles Sat, Sep 24, 2005 7:09:07am
Smoke much, Nancy?

03323521 23331 10 Charles Mon, Nov 13, 2006 9:32:46am
Dreadnaught: and our new Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, has posted at Daily Kos. She seems to think they are her base.

03498161 24118 27 Charles Tue, Jan 23, 2007 4:41:13pm
Somebody told Nancy to try to stop blinking.

03498193 24118 59 Charles Tue, Jan 23, 2007 4:47:32pm
Nancy’s lips are pursing.

04510149 27996 1146 Charles Wed, Nov 21, 2007 9:18:18am

re: #1139 ggt

I’m shocked–Ed got banned?

Where have I been. I tried to search, but can’t find where he was banned–so I can read about it.

Yes, he was banned when I learned that he was copying and pasting my comments at a hostile site. Instead of emailing me to ask why he was banned, or to ask me to reconsider, he immediately started posting at Atlas and Gates of Vienna, feeding their hate fantasies, and calling me “Nancy.”

Ed’s mask has come completely off. He was no friend of LGF.

05875214 31254 382 Charles Sun, Sep 14, 2008 12:31:04pm

After reading some of the crazy stuff at the links Nancy posted, I’m beginning to tilt toward the view that this was either a setup to discredit McCain/Palin (especially Palin), or yes, racism.

06997362 33297 791 Charles Mon, Apr 6, 2009 4:30:13pm

re: #784 Bagua

Bush bowed his head, pure and simple, if the identical video showed Harry Reid or Nancy Pelosi bowing to accept the medal, I highly doubt even one of those now parsing Bush’s bow would do the same for Reid or Pelosi.

Think about about.

If Obama had been shown bowing to receive a medal from Abdullah, I guarantee the same people would be screaming about it even louder.

Verbatim archived posts above are unedited for your cut ‘n paste funnery.  That Charles Johnson smeared Nancy Pelosi is a given.

Shall we continue and list all the other women [like Liberty Chick aka Mandy Nagy] that Charles Johnson has harassed? Hell, Charles kept harassing Mandy even after she’d had a debilitating stroke. She couldn’t even speak let alone type to defend herself.

Ain’t that right, Charles…

Greatest @Green_Footballs Tweet of 2011

[This post by the legendary ChenZhen has been sitting silent in the bottom of the DoD drafts folder for years for unknown reasons, but since it’s the 6th Anniversary of Charles Johnson’s Johnson TwitterFail, we might as well turn it loose. –Briareus]

In light of Johnson’s recent, um, friskiness in the Twitterverse, and the fact that we kinda skipped the DoD awards ceremony this year, I’m going to go ahead and declare what would have been the winner anyway.

To be fair (not that we need to be), the tweet came during Johnson’s hilariously desperate attempts to defend and excuse Rep. Weiner while he was dealing with the bombshell that Breitbart delivered (in retrospect, perhaps we can assume that the fact that it was AB played a factor in the intensity of CJ’s efforts).

Frustrated, and convinced that he was fighting the good fight, he even added the trending hashtag to ensure that as many netizens outside his swamp saw this as possible:

Charles Johnson: A Faker Who Exploits Confirmation Bias For Page Views Exposes Fakers Who Exploit Confirmation Bias For Page Views And Gets Chumped.

Charles Hoax Detector

If his magical jazzy ponytailed LGF website wasn’t already buggy and slow to load, he’s added more amateur script to clog the works. Down in the comments we find the truth: Once again Charles Johnson co-opted the work of others and promoted it as his own.

Charles Hoax Detector 2

Basically, Charles Johnson is so good at sucking he doesn’t understand satire even when it kicks him right in his ample and oversized wubba wubba. So the question is, what prompted Charles to go to the trouble? The answer is obvious – he and his sycophants constantly fall for (and promote) obvious hoaxes and satire as truth. One of the lizard-lappers even recommended adding The Onion to the list.

Since Johnson doesn’t have the cojones to notify the sites on his Little Green Hit List, we’ll step up to the plate and do it for him. Below are the sites mentioned in Johnson’s “Hoaxy Poaxy” list (that he lifted from Fake News Watch) with live links, so you can judge for yourselves. Italics indicate recent headlines. Read the rest of this entry »

Arithmetics Is Hard When Charles Johnson Doesn’t Count

Interesting that there’s been a noted absence of deleted comments on Little Green Footballs  recently, so this one caught our attention. Oddly enough, The Boiler Room Crew knew about this particular deletion days before it was posted. Heh.109 10mil
Good thing that The BRC was on the spot to screencap Comment 110 prior to deletion because it is significant.

Johnson announced gloated about the LGF 10,000,000th comment over a month ago (proffering a book autographed by Rachel Maddow that he got for free and didn’t want, so he offered it as a *ahem* prize) but here’s the problem. Charles never deleted the 32,531 duplicate comments in his archive, even though we stuck it directly under his unkempt hirsute nostrils a mere 1 million LGF comments ago.

Here is the TRUE 10,000,000th Comment on Little Green Footballs.

BRC110Of course there were reactive comments by clueless lizards. [Fact checker‘s polite posts are embedded in lieu of the deleted comments below. Image differences are due to different screencapping methods only.]113 114
BRC 116117
119 120
122 123BRC 124

And the top response goes to Charles “FuckFace” Johnson for bein’ a dick.


No, Charles. It was The Boiler Room Crew, and you just published someone’s personal information for pointing out your blatant errors. Again. That’s the reason nobody trusts a dickhead like you, regardless of one’s political affiliation.

BTW, here’s the post that Charles rigged for 10 Milyo, highlighted in urine yellow by Mr. Blobfish himself:

10 M Comment According to CJ

Penis Penis Penis LOL indeed. Embarrassing Stats coming up.

Announcement: The BRC post-Super Bowl Event

We’ve hinted at it, but now we’re ready to confirm a date and time for the big reveal of our next project. After the Super Bowl, will you be watching “The Voice“, or will you tune in here to see what we’ve come up with? I’m going to recommend the latter (although, I suppose there’s nothing to stop you from doing both).

As a team, we’ve had some pretty neat projects in the past, like “Saint Pancake“, The Memory Hole rescues, the LGF comment stats, the “tweet counter” smackdown, the Johnson comment file, the jaw-dropping list of 4,200+ banned accounts, and the revelation that there are 32,531 duplicated comments in the LGF database (and that every “millionth” comment milestone ever celebrated over the years was premature), but this particular one is special.

Why? Well, in addition to the unprecedented collaborative effort within the BRC, this is the first time we’ve called on DoD readers to pitch in (we’ve had a great response on that, and we thank everyone who contributed). Also, while we’re sure that Johnson eventually discovered how we stole the memory-hole strawberries, we’re thinking that there’ll be some serious frustration-induced keyboard-mashing and ponytail stroking  over the question of how we got into his kitchen on this one. Remember that scene from Star Trek II where Kirk hacks into Kahn’s dashboard and lowers the Reliant‘s shields? Kinda like that (Kahn never did figure it out, right?).

We’ve got screencaps, animated gifs, charts, graphs, and analysis that will humble even the most sycophantic liz.

Anyway, there’s your teaser. Enjoy the game.

Correlation, Causation or Copulation? You Decide.

The Boiler Room Crew has a rep for bringing to light the best ChuckFactChecking of the entire internest.  What makes the BRC tick is that we all hate each other. Fortunately, most of the mudslinging goes on behind the scenes, and the emails are of little interest to anyone but us BRC bastards.

When a BRC Engineer proposes a project, the emails usually begin with a single word: “Bullshit.” Then the other Engineers tear it apart, slinging data and arguments until someone dares one of the others to post it. By that time, the post has been vetted as stone-cold and solid, and we all return to the foosball table. Here’s a recent example:

Many folks on this blog have noted that the number of comments on LGF dropped off significantly once Charles began commenting more. One of the BRC opined that it might be interesting to correlate Charles’ increased activity on LGF with the reduction of lizard comments over the same time span. The reply from The Boiler Room was typical. “Bullshit.”

Engineer No. 5 completed the requested assignment without complaint and added:
How’s this?  It’s average monthly comments for CJ and everyone, averaged across 6 month periods.  That spike in the second half of 2009 is due almost entirely to September in which CJ went apesh*t banning anything that moved, or didn’t move, or thought about moving.
It seems to show that LGF grew like a mofo before CJ joined the discussion.  Of course correlation isn’t causation, but in this case, who cares.

Also, iceweasel made its first appearance May 8, 2009.  Coincidence?

To top it off, you just can’t beat an arbitrary graph that looks like a reclining decapitated bimbo to make the point. Engineer No. 5 has since been promoted to BRC Bastard 1st Class.
Congratulations are in order.

From the “This Should Be Self-Explanatory” Department

You gotta click here. You just gotta.

[.Gif animation courtesy of ISTE.]