Every year about this time, Doug Ross of Doug Ross @ Journal, a blog run by Doug Ross, holds an Awards Ceremony hosted by Doug Ross, to recobanize the contributions of a variety of bloggers and personalities, and Doug Ross sorts them into different categories. In the waning days of This Glorious Year Of Our Lord it’s no different. While scratching his unmentionable itchy parts, Doug Ross spent an absurd and inordinate amount of time compiling, analyzing and composing his List of Finalists, and it’s only right that we acknowledge the work of Doug Ross – because it’s entirely bitchin’ and awesome.
There’s not much point in cutting and pasting The Entire Doug Ross 2015 Awards List, so we culled out the most important part:
P.S. Charles: Your LGF Custom Views Counter still lies, your website is buggy as hell, and your avatar is over a decade old. The old rule of thumb is that a blog is only worth 50% of a year’s advert income, meaning that LGF still sucks big green donkeys.
Do the math, Charles, and thank Doug Ross for giving you more attention than you deserve.
A Hearty Welcome to all BlogMockers, Stalkers, TwitterWarriors, Chuckleophiles, Current & Former Lizards and Esteemed Fellows of The Diary of Daedalus! Grab a brew and a big bowl of Cheetos’ cause it’s time for
The Annual LGF Awards!
Pickin’s were slim for Stupor Bowl 2014. Charles Johnson’s website Little Green Footballs has become a homogenous mix of like-minded vaporbrains, answering the right questions with the wrong answers while patting their fuzzy pockmarked behinds with congratulatory updings. This year’s Award Nominees and Poll Results turned up some surprises, so without further adieu, here are the recipients of The 2014 LGF Awards.
Previous winners of The Buzzsaw Award for intrepid flounce-worthy snarkage were:
2013 – Killgore Trout
2012 – Rightwing_2 aka MF Horn
2011 – No Awards. Fire in the Boiler Room
2010 – Cato “Do It Now” The Elder
The 2014 Buzzsaw Award is hereby presented to Killgore Trout.
Killgore Trout (Recipient of the 2013 Buzzsaw Award) received a whopping 52% of the vote this time around. He’s best known for his dishonest astroturfing of right wing websites in order to gain favor with Charles Johnson, and it worked for a while. Killgore lost his crown due to LGF hive attacks (orchestrated by Iceweasel & Jimmah), his penchant for non-conformity and general contrarian positions on LGF, and especially for his unwavering support for the State of Israel.
THE IRISH ROSE
Previous winners of The Irish Rose Award for salivating suckage:
2013 – Gus_802
2012 – Dark Falcon
2011 – No Awards. Fire in the Boiler Room
2010 – Dark Falcon
The 2014 Irish Rose Award is hereby presented to Stabby
The Irish Rose is not one that most recipients cherish. It acknowledges drooling unrequited love and adulation of Charles Foster Johnson and is reserved for those sycophantic little lizard lappers who remain in good standing at Little Green Footballs by stroking the Big Green Donkey Charles. Many assumed that El Gusano would win again this year, but it wasn’t in the cards for the Argentinian anti-American pro-jihad Johnson-catching Jew hater.
To his credit, Stabby had the cojones (unlike other LGF patrons like Gus_802 or Dark Falcon) to venture past the confines of The Swamp and opine at Diary of Daedalus, and therefore deserves the Award. (We’ve hosed off and disinfected Gus’ stained and encrusted throne, so shut up and have a seat.)
No one ever doubts who’s going to win The Johnson Award because there are so few 60+ year old guitarist bloggers with magical jazzy ponytails who qualify.
Here’s the vote breakdown. G’head. Click it, Charles.
2013 – Robert Stacy McCain
2012 – Andrew Breitbart (awarded posthumously)
Of all the LGF Awards, this one is perhaps the most auspicious (Charles pronounces the word “ouse-picky-use”) because it involves those who smack down The Corpulent Blogger with intelligence, logic, clever wit and humor.
Nick Searcy [@YesNickSearcy] won with 32% of the vote for his concise and effortless Twitter smackdowns of Charles [@Green_Footballs] Johnson’s kikmidog-style of ankle biting, and demonstrated the heart, soul, snark and wit required of all recipients of This Award. Therefore
Without disparaging Mr. Searcy’s entertaining and invaluable contributions, he never endured the vile barrage that Charles Johnson and his Little Green Flying Monkeys unleashed on Mandy [@Liberty_Chick] Nagy. While coping with Lupus Disease, Mandy suffered a massive stroke last fall, leaving her seriously crippled, both physically and mentally, and Charles Foster Johnson sent NO condolences.
Honorable Mention: Mandy Nagy
Kudos to all who participated in This Poll, and thanks also to The Corpulent One, whose hyperbolic bloviation and juvenile attention-whoring idiocy has provided us so much inane entertainment over the years.
Charles, PLEASE keep up the stupid. Were it not for your massive ego, your unjustified backstabbing of benefactors and supporters, and your dearth of coherent logic, we wouldn’t be sitting behind you at the Matinee kicking your chair, spitting Milk Duds down your shirt collar and betting on how many wet jujubes your magical jazzy ponytail can hold before they start dropping into your plumber’s crack. Thank you, Charles.
Charles Johnson was not nominated for Patriot of The Year. Instead the Award was bestowed upon one of his esteemed and successful Protégés who is:
–A popular orator and ardent supporter of Israel;
–A recognized figure in the fight against islamist extremism and propaganda;
–Author of the books The Post-American Presidency and Stop the Islamization of America;
–Author of numerous published articles on freedom of speech and the attempts to squelch it;
–The 2010 recipient of the Annie Taylor Award for Courage, presented by The David Horowitz Freedom Center;
–The owner of Atlas Shrugs, a slow-loading website designed/scripted by the Big Lizard himself.
Update: ChenZhen notes that Geller gives an appropriate hat tip to her former BlogDaddy in the sidebar of Atlas Shrugs:
The polls are closed and the votes as tallied by PollDaddy.com have a healthy margin of error that even Dan Rather would envy. No tracking of individual votes is possible. The polls could have been set up to block by IP address but that creates undesirable side effects – for example, every McDonald’s in Culver City might be inadvertently blocked by a single corpulent wifi vote. With those caveats out of the way, let’s proceed.
PRESENTING THE 2012 LGF AWARDS AWARDS
THE BUZZSAW AWARD is for intrepid and pithy flouncing, and is hereby awarded to right_wing2, aka MF Horn, who quietly kept his LGF account alive through The Great Purge, until resurfacing on 3 November 2012. His flounce survived for 6 hours and garnered a mere 7 downdings before Mr. ThinSkin was alerted and deleted it. It’s preserved in all it’s glory here courtesy of The BRC. Congrats.
THE IRISH ROSE AWARD is awarded to those sycophantic echo-chamber lizards possessing the thickest calluses on their lips. It takes a lot of suckage to earn this one, and it was a close race between Dark Falcon and Gus_802, both well deserving of this ignominious award.
Before we proceed with the formal award, we’d like to point out that Destro was in the running. This full-blown piece of anti-American crap got exactly ZERO votes. Anti-semite lizard Curious Lurker was a write in candidate who deserved to be included on the ballot, but she’s got nothing on the two front runners.
Dark Falcon, winner of the 2010 Irish Rose Award, is the mountain lion of this category once again. Dork climbs the LGF ladder rung by rung, gets smacked down, apologizes and repeats, over and over. Dork, you’re the epitome of a sycophantic suck up of the worst kind, and you deserve every last steaming chunk of This Glorious Award. You’ve held onto your crown of awesome, so kudos and congrats go to you, The Electrolux Posterboy, Dark Falcon.
THE JOHNSON AWARD – Really, who gives a Chuck, but before we move on to our final Award, we should mention some awesome that happened in 2012 on Diary of Daedalus.
The Ruse and Fail of Little Green Footballs was requested by the late Andrew Breitbart via direct communications with The BRC in fall of 2011. It resulted in the most extensive and detailed monograph on Charles Johnson & LGF ever posted on the internet to date. Perhaps the best smackdown came last June as a stand-alone report.
Revisiting Rathergate ripped apart Charles’ specious claims that he’d discovered and exposed the Killian Documents Forgery by creating the “throbbing memo” that eventually brought down Dan Rather. (Hint: He didn’t.)
This brings us to the final award of this auspicious occasion. A Most Prestigious Award was created to recognize those sentients from Beyond The Valley of Diary of Daedalus who chose to expose and mock the hypocrisy of Charles Johnson elsewhere in the blogosphere. Without further adieu, we are proud to present THE MILYO.
Awarded To One Most Deserving for the Following Excellent Reasons:
- He introduced Charles Johnson to Pajamas Media (and Pamela Geller) and explained his stunned amazement at Charles’ penchant for unwarranted backstabbing.
- He stuck Charles Johnson with the nic “The Magical Jazzy Ponytail.”
- He beat Charles Johnson in the #TwitterWars of 2011 and got him to whine about being blocked.
- He exposed Twitter links between Charles Johnson and some nefarious characters, eventually forcing Johnson to delete his own tweets and direct messages, and to abandon his former persona as @Lizardoid.
- He participated in an interview on Blogmocracy Radio, without pretense and with cordial nonchalance, and referred to Charles Johnson as “fuckface.”
- He passed away unexpectedly on 1 March 2012, yet Charles Johnson continues to attack him.
THE 2012 MILYO AWARD is hereby bestowed upon the late
Congrats to all who stalked, mocked, monitored, nominated, were nominated and voted for the 2012 LGF Awards. Rock on, y’all.
[Update: Poll results may be viewed here.]