Charlez Johnston in da Twizzle


Lotta blog-stalkin’ mockin’ possibilities.
Although The Original Dialectisizer can translate websites into dialects (including Jive), Gizoogle does gangsta speak, and it works on us, too!

If ya gonna go gangsta, go full gangsta.

[Update: Graphic enhancement courtesy Dezzez.]


The 12th Anniversary of Killgore’s Midnight Run & Charles Johnson’s Foray Into Astroturfing

The following is a repost from 18 September 2016.


160913-charles-on-brietbart-astroturfing

There he goes again, fighting a dead man.

Andrew Breitbart enhanced Charles Johnson’s blogging career by introducing him to the players who in turn promoted Little Green Footballs and escorted Johnson into the Big Tent with fanfare. Instead of walking away with dignity, Charles chose the path of the pissant. Not only did he shun his former mentors, he turned on them, created and promoted lies, reposted invented unsubstantiated claims, and astroturfed his benefactors. Then, like a true coward, he still plays the victim when others call him on his own hypocrisy.

On 13 September 2016, Charles tried once again to erase his own history of astroturfing, but let’s roll back the clock to 18 September 2009.

Seven years ago today The Flying Monkeys of Charles Johnson’s Little Green Footballs began an astroturf campaign against HotAir. With no evidence to back up Johnson’s accusation that HotAir was a racist website, LGF operative Killgore Trout paid them a visit while the moderators were asleep and provided the “evidence” himself by posting offensive racial comments and daring the moderators to delete them… beginning at 12:34AM and running to 2:01AM. You can read the full diatribe here, but here’s a snippet:

Killgore Rant Condensed

Killgore’s Midnight Run set a precedent for Little Green Footballs that was recognized throughout the political blogosphere, and the running joke was that if racist comments showed up on someone’s website it was due to Charles Johnson and Little Green Footballs.

Killgore 947
Killgore 965

Charles Johnson continuously accused Breitbart and others of not policing comments on their websites. Little Green Footballs typically garnered a couple of hundred comments, and Charles employed volunteer “Monitor Lizards” to do it for him. Breitbart’s “Big Journalism” had well over ten times the number of comments per post than Little Green Footballs, so it was impractical to expend the effort to review and/or edit all of them.

And Johnson’s astroturfing didn’t stop there.

100825-cfng-1

100825 CFnG 2

Johnson holds the 2 of Clubs and four Post-It Notes, then claims he has 5 of a kind. The first liar never has a chance, Charles.

Jazzy Magical Meme


Paper Dollop

Thread downstairs was getting kinda full. Had to do something about it.


Twitterverse Shrugged.

Charles “updated” his profile image and no one gave a foster, but he wanted to be sure we didn’t miss it. We noticed that someone had messed with it to mask the photogrodys, so we restored it to something closer to reality and gave it our best shot at a worthless mark.

 

 

 

 

 

We couldn’t get the suet pallor quite right, and he still appears a bit narrower in the neck department than in real life – not that he has either one. The un-enhancement indicates some semblance of a ponytail (judging from the terrified stray grays flailing against the hidden scrunchie sucked up tight to his no-neck on the right). Crack spackle hides the pumas in his crevasses.

His head was likely not vertical either: his torso would have been leaning backwards and no chair back could take that kind of abuse for long.

 

Got bored of that non-project real fast, but a dark mockery oozed from behind the rec room couch, from under the cat stuff, and whispered, “What’s behind the mask?”


Someone in that crowd planted that noose (says Charles Johnson)

Funeral for a rope? No FOXSports reporter, no employee of the racetrack, and not a single person in that picture knows the difference between a garage door pull and a noose. It took 15 FBI agents flown in from DC to check to make sure.

Click on the image above for Terence K. William’s take. The somber @FOXSports funeral video feed is here.


Woman says she’s 32. Charles Johnson says he’s 12.

We just had to zoom in on Sandwich Number 12:

And while we’re at it:


Chucky eats an “Impossible Whopper”


Have a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah & Kickass Kwanzaa

[Image h/t AmyOops]


ALEXA & Charles Johnson’s Traffic Manipulation

Occasionally The BRC checks the Little Green Footballs ALEXA Statistics, and there appears to be an anomaly in the fabric of the futon vortex. Something happened on 20 September 2019 that gave Charles Johnson’s Little Green Footballs a significant bump in traffic.

According to ALEXA, in less than two months (52 days) LGF traffic increased by an astounding 143%. Did Charles Johnson post breaking news? No. Did he increase the number of headline posts on his front page? Yes. Does clicking on the LGF front page automatically tally all posts on the front page as having been read? Yes.

Compare today’s graph with this one from 25 September 2014:

In other words, Charles Johnson’s Little Green Footballs was ranked by Alexa at -73K in September 2014, and as of December 2019 it’s at -307K.

That’s some impressive work, Charles.


Passé Political Punditch Charles F. Johnson Abandons Word Salad, Adopts Verbal Coleslaw

Read that title and caption again. Bet you can’t decipher it.


Update 25 November 2019:
“Contrary to popular belief, I’m still here. I did not threaten to resign. Let’s just say we are here to talk about external threats and Eddie Gallagher is not one of them.” – SECNAV Richard Spencer

https://www.defensenews.com/congress/2019/11/23/us-navy-secretary-denies-he-threatened-to-resigned-over-trump-seal-intervention/#.Xdmb0HG2Lu4.twitter