Charlez Johnston in da Twizzle


Lotta blog-stalkin’ mockin’ possibilities.
Although The Original Dialectisizer can translate websites into dialects (including Jive), Gizoogle does gangsta speak, and it works on us, too!

If ya gonna go gangsta, go full gangsta.

[Update: Graphic enhancement courtesy Dezzez.]


198 Comments on “Charlez Johnston in da Twizzle”

  1. rightymouse says:

    Too funny! 😆

  2. rightymouse says:

  3. rightymouse says:

  4. rightymouse says:

    Actually, we need one for stupidity. You’ll need the booster.

  5. rightymouse says:

    Please make the insanity stop!! 😦

  6. Bunk X says:

    Game over.

  7. Bunk X says:

    THIS is pukeworthy. Self-absorbed parental whines by writers of The Atlantic vent about covid.
    https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2021/11/parents-kids-pandemic-covid-safety/620806/

  8. rightymouse says:

  9. rightymouse says:

    Fauxi is lying pond scum.

  10. Octopus says:

    https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPd27w8He/

    The shooter tried to trick the kids into opening the door. He said, “bro.”

  11. rightymouse says:

    Amen!

  12. rightymouse says:

    Chris Cuomo is toast at CNN apparently. Tucker took him apart last night.

  13. rightymouse says:

  14. rightymouse says:

    Yep!

  15. Bunk X says:

    • Octopus says:

      Such a raging bitch-ass Chinese tool he’s become! 😱😂😂😂

      I don’t know which sports spectacle I’ll enjoy more this year: LeBitch’s collapse and meltdown, blaming his teammates as usual, or Matthew Stafford’s annual late-season reversion to mediocrity, blamed on his teammates by his wife Kelly on Twitter. 😂

  16. Octopus says:

    😂😂😂😂

    • Bunk X says:

      Those are just the direct hits. Indirectly, he’s killed 3/4 of the world’s future population. BILLIONS WILL DIE said Ludwig.

      • Octopus says:

        Hitler was a piker, compared to Trump! Ah, the Idiot Left…where can they go from here, in demonizing the next Republican President? I guess they can use Satan himself, but that’s a bit jejune, eh wot? Too unsophisticated, smacking of depraved religiosity, for such an elite faction of High Foreheads. 😆

  17. Octopus says:

    Best thing I’ve seen all week! 😂😂😂😂

  18. Octopus says:

    Smell-O-Vision is finally here! 😂😱

  19. Octopus says:

    Our school-shooter bitch on his first day in prison! Tried as an adult, facing multiple life sentences, no chance of an insanity plea. His whole evil plan was mapped out with care, documented online and in a written paper journal, no doubt including scary illustrations.

    • rightymouse says:

      How on earth does a 14 year old kid be this awful??

      • Octopus says:

        Scarily, some are made by their toxic environment, while others are just born this way. There’s no single recipe. And no real way to figure out ahead of time which one is just indulging in dark fantasies that function as an outlet for adolescent angst, and the very few that will actually trip the mental circuit breaker and come out of the high school bathroom shooting.

        Apparently, a bunch of young dumbasses around here have gotten together on the internet and decided to flood the zone with a lot of vague threats of mayhem, causing all the school districts around southeastern Michigan to close down the past couple of days. The FBI and Secret Service are currently tracking down the sources, and will be nailing some punks to the wall soon, I have no doubt. Kids don’t seem to realize that EVERYTHING is trackable nowadays.

        • rightymouse says:

          I watch real crime stuff on cable TV in the early evening and have seen episodes of young people who commit murder. Their parents/siblings typically say that the offenders were troubled from childhood.

  20. rightymouse says:

  21. rightymouse says:

    Agreed! 😆

  22. rightymouse says:

    • Octopus says:

      Good question, but they still haven’t found any life on Mars, the Moon, or anywhere else besides Earth. Not even a fossilized spore. Nothing!

      Just keeping score. 😀

  23. rightymouse says:

    😆 😆 😆

    • Octopus says:

      Well, he also had some bleach spilled on his jacket, and a sort-of noose around this neck, to go with his half-eaten Subway sandwich. That’s all the proof I need. 😆

  24. rightymouse says:

    I need some aspirin. 🙄

  25. rightymouse says:

    OOh! I could own the sidebar!

  26. rightymouse says:

    This is just awful. Hubby and I have made plane & hotel reservations for our trip to Thailand the end of his year. It’s mind-numbing BS!! 😦

  27. rightymouse says:

    I did NOT know this! Wow!

  28. rightymouse says:

    My Xmas wish list.

  29. rightymouse says:

    I think I’m going to go take a shower & scream at the wall.

  30. Bunk X says:

    I see Righty hoovered up the sidebar again.

  31. Dezzez says:

    Um, yeah he is fatty and you even linked the video proving it.
    But here is the rub, why does any lie Trump told give xiden a free pass to misspeak?

  32. Abu penis penis penis lol says:

    Kitten update: our three sibling kitties are living the high life. They are about 11 weeks old and have taken control when awake. We love them except the 3am playing.

    We aren’t saving these kitties like ISTE did but they have a home.

    White privilege. 👌🏻

    • rightymouse says:

      Glad you are enjoying them!! 🙂

    • ISTE says:

      A street cat.

      • ISTE says:

        And no, that is not one of mine…

        • Octopus says:

          There’s a semi-feral cat on the next block here, that controls the sidewalk from one intersection to the next. Like a watchdog, he follows every pedestrian from kids to Amazon delivery people, and yowls at them all the way until they leave his purrview. He might be quite mad, as the English toffs say. Doesn’t attack, but acts like he might, at any false move. Nobody knows where he came from. The neighbors all like that he’s there, and they feed him. I suspect somebody gives him shelter, because he’s survived a couple of years now.

  33. Bunk X says:

    Probably won’t work, but what the hell.

  34. Octopus says:

    This young man is reported by other students to have run toward the shooter, instead of running away. There isn’t any proof of this act of courage yet, but the mere fact that everyone who knew him tends to believe it says a lot about his character. We lost four great young people on Tuesday.

    More about Tate:

    https://www.freep.com/story/sports/columnists/jeff-seidel/2021/12/02/oxford-high-school-shooting-tate-myre-death-football-wrestling/8829586002/

    • rightymouse says:

      So sad. 😦

      • Octopus says:

        The other kids’ stories are just as sad. Some very fine, talented and kind young people were murdered by this mutant. I hope he’s getting bullied butt good a year or so from now, in general population at the state prison not of his choice. What I mean is, in case I’m unclear, LOTS of anal rape. And salad-tossing.

  35. rightymouse says:

  36. rightymouse says:

    This is how I feel when I have to do Xmas shopping. I swear I’m not female enough because I HATE shopping.

  37. dezzez says:

    All of us, NO!
    You, no doubt.

    • Bunk X says:

      Charles has an unnatural fascination with peckers and bungholes.

    • ISTE says:

      American men are pussies!

      Charles says ” we all know how painful this can be.

      Well, everything is a lot scarier in Metric.

      The 57mm mortar round was used by the Royal Artillery in the Second World War as anti-tank rounds, though it would later also be used by British tanks in North Africa.

      These rounds measure at 57mm in diameter and an eye-watering 170mm in length.

      A source told The Sun: “The guy said he found the shell when he was having a clear out of his stuff.

      “He said he put it on the floor then he slipped and fell on it — and it went up his a***.”

      57mm is 2.24 inches in diameter and 170mm is 6.69 inches in length.

      The average British penis is at least that size.

      • Bunk X says:

        I’m not going to ask how you know that.
        You know. THAT.

        • ISTE says:

          We have a few immigrants in the UK from African countries that really did great things for our average!

          Referencing a post or comment someone posted on here a week or so ago.

          🙂

          • Octopus says:

            I couldn’t be arsed to look up that reference. And by “arsed,” I mean “buggered.” And by “buggered,” I mean anal-rape, with a 2”x4” piece of lumber, inserted in the rectum without benefit of any lubricant. Sideways.

          • ISTE says:

            Many black immigrants to the UK are from Jamaca.

            A young man truly in love with his girlfriend decided to have her name tattooed on his penis. Her name was Wendy, and the tattoo was done while the penis was erect, so when it was not erect all you could see was W Y. Shortly after the couple was married they were honeymooning in Jamaica the man was in a bathroom in Jamaica, and standing next to him was a Jamaican man who also had a W Y on his penis. The American said to him “Oh is your girl named Wendy too?” The Jamaican replied, “No, Mr. that says Welcome to Jamaica Have a Nice Day”.

            source: http://www.jokes4us.com/barjokes/tattoojoke.html

          • Bunk X says:

            Harry McClintock’s 1928 song Big Rock Candy Mountain was about kidnapping and buggery.

          • Octopus says:

            I don’t see it, Bunk…and Lord knows, I love me a good old-fashioned chantey about ridin’ the rails. And by ridin’ the rails, I mean,,,you know.

            Big Rock Candy Mountain
            Song by Harry McClintock

            One evening as the sun went down
            And the jungle fire was burning
            Down the track came a hobo hiking
            And he said, “Boys, I’m not turning”
            “I’m headed for a land that’s far away
            Besides the crystal fountains
            So come with me, we’ll go and see
            The Big Rock Candy Mountains”
            In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
            There’s a land that’s fair and bright
            Where the handouts grow on bushes
            And you sleep out every night
            Where the boxcars all are empty
            And the sun shines every day
            And the birds and the bees
            And the cigarette trees
            The lemonade springs
            Where the bluebird sings
            In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
            In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
            All the cops have wooden legs
            And the bulldogs all have rubber teeth
            And the hens lay soft-boiled eggs
            The farmers’ trees are full of fruit
            And the barns are full of hay
            Oh, I’m bound to go
            Where there ain’t no snow
            Where the rain don’t fall
            The winds don’t blow
            In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
            In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
            You never change your socks
            And the little streams of alcohol
            Come trickling down the rocks
            The brakemen have to tip their hats
            And the railway bulls are blind
            There’s a lake of stew
            And of whiskey too
            You can paddle all around it
            In a big canoe
            In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
            In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
            The jails are made of tin
            And you can walk right out again
            As soon as you are in
            There ain’t no short-handled shovels
            No axes, saws nor picks
            I’m goin’ to stay
            Where you sleep all day
            Where they hung the jerk
            That invented work
            In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
            I’ll see you all this coming fall
            In the Big Rock Candy Mountains

          • Bunk X says:

            I’ll find the omitted verse(s) next time I’m thinking about buggery. Like just now.

            Before recording the song, McClintock cleaned it up considerably from the version he sang as a street busker in the 1890s. Originally the song described a child being recruited into hobo life by tales of the “big rock candy mountain”. In later years, when McClintock appeared in court as part of a copyright dispute, he cited the original words of the song, the last stanza of which was:

            ”The punk rolled up his big blue eyes
            And said to the jocker, “Sandy,
            I’ve hiked and hiked and wandered too,
            But I ain’t seen any candy.
            I’ve hiked and hiked till my feet are sore
            And I’ll be damned if I hike any more
            To be buggered sore like a hobo’s whore
            In the Big Rock Candy Mountains.”

            In the released version this verse did not appear.

  38. Bunk X says:

    😀

  39. ISTE says:

    The government is now spying on my shit.

  40. Bunk X says:

    • ISTE says:

      Don’t get me started on this robot shit.

      OK I started.

      Why are they spending so much time, effort and money developing ” humanoid ” looking robots?

      We all saw the Japanese robots that were human in appearance playing soccer, serving drinks, dancing.

      Then Fukushima happened.

      What good were a bunch of soccer playing dancing robots?

      No good at all. AND THEY ARE STILL MAKING HUMANOID ROBOTS!!!!!!!!

    • Octopus says:

      How does the school escape charges, in this case? They don’t. The monster-kid is at the worst fault, but the parents are a close second, with the school officials nipping at their heels. This atrocity could have been stopped. If it was my kid who was being embalmed, or sucking oxygen on a ventilator like one victim is still doing, I’d be taking names and preparing to kick ass in criminal and/or civil court.

  41. dezzez says:

    Yup.

    • Octopus says:

      I’m choosing to leave politics out of this tragedy. I know that’s impossible, but all I truly care about in this thing are the victims and their parents, siblings, relatives, and friends. A lot of people are hurting. I found out this evening that my youngest brother was involved in a business deal with the father of Tate Myres, the young athlete whose video clip I posted early this morning. Yesterday morning, now. This isn’t about politics, to a grieving family. It’s much deeper than facile opinions about gun laws. Humans are losing touch with their humanity, and common bonds. We need to figure out why. It’s not, “Because Trump!,” libturds. I think it’s a host of reasons, but it’s too late to get into that shit-list.

  42. dezzez says:

    I’m sure you do fatty

  43. rightymouse says:

    😆 😆

  44. Octopus says:

    They got dem!

    She mad.

    He mad, too.

    • rightymouse says:

      They look pissed. 😦

      • Octopus says:

        They were trying to hide in an East Detroit commercial building, when a sharp-eyed citizen saw their car tucked discreetly in the back parking lot. A SWAT team arrived shortly thereafter, and dragged the “disheveled” pair down to the Graybar Hotel. 😀

  45. rightymouse says:

  46. Octopus says:

    Finally! A recent photo of Chonky. 😆

  47. ISTE says:

    Just sitting here on a Saturday afternoon and pondering things. Specifically a few posts here mentioning possible inappropriate sexual conduct with sheep.

    Now, every coin has two sides. Every argument has a counter argument..

    If there is such a thing as inappropriate sexual conduct with sheep then….

    What is deemed appropriate sexual conduct with sheep?

    ( Not asking for a friend. I don’t know any Scottish or Welsh friends. Or Greek people either )

    • Octopus says:

      What is preferable, a sexy ewe or a naughty nanny goat? Asking for a friend. A friend who has a lot of cats.

      • ISTE says:

        Either, as long as they have horns.

        Gives your friend something to hang on to if they get frisky.

        So I am told by a friend.

        ( Bunk is going to shut this down in 5..4..3..2…… )

        • Octopus says:

          Bunk is busy in the stockyard, chasing curly pig-tails. He’s got what some people charitably call, “eclectic tastes.” 🐷

  48. Octopus says:

    From Hunter S. Thompson’s “Fear And Loathing On The Campaign Trail:”

    …(I)n both the Ohio and Nebraska primaries, back to back, McGovern was confronted for the first time with the politics of the rabbit-punch and the groin shot, and in both states he found himself dangerously vulnerable to this kind of thing. Dirty politics confused him. He was not ready for it….

    This is one of the oldest and most effective tricks in politics. Every hack in the business has used it in times of trouble, and it has even been elevated to the level of political mythology in a story about one of Lyndon Johnson’s early campaigns in Texas. The race was close and Johnson was getting worried. Finally he told his campaign manager to start a massive rumor campaign about his opponent’s life-long habit of enjoying carnal knowledge of his own barnyard sows.

    “Christ, we can’t get a way with calling him a pig-fucker,” the campaign manager protested. “Nobody’s going to believe a thing like that.”

    “I know,” Johnson replied. “But let’s make the sonofabitch deny it.”
    —————————
    Bad craziness! 😂

    • Octopus says:

      Bad Craziness!!! 😂

  49. ISTE says:

    Cat update.

    All day big cats wanting to go outside. Letting them out, then they want to come inside for a snack then back outside. This has been going on for hours. In out in out…..

    They are outside now and it has started raining…

    MEOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Me: I can’t hear you!

  50. Abu penis penis penis lol says:

    Was just called upstairs because 2 red foxes were on our lawn playing. Seemed I missed them but went outside to see and one of them ran up my driveway within six feet of me. What was I thinking?
    Worrying about our kittens rushing outside.🙀

    • Octopus says:

      Foxes are a problem, if you have a situation that encourages them. One of my colleagues used to have a nice chicken-and-egg thing going on, and would bring dozens of fresh, free eggs into work for distribution. Then, the foxes came. After that, the raccoons. Soon, he was down to two chickens, and they stopped laying, due to terror and whatnot. No more free eggs. ☹️

  51. rightymouse says:

    The Cuomos are toast. How the mighty can fall.

    • Octopus says:

      Such insufferable ponces! How did they ever get such inexplicable clout? They’re both pieces of poo. Only in the Dhimmicraptic Sewer, I guess. They blended in perfectly. Poop Camo!

      • rightymouse says:

        Andrew Cuomo’s ex is a Kennedy. And their Dad, Mario, was a Governor of NY. Am sure they felt like very entitled, untouchable a-holes.

  52. Octopus says:

    The Michigan Wolverines are the champions of the Big 10. Is that good news? Well, for me, it is. I was starting to wonder. This team is gritty, tough and very, very talented, in nearly every aspect of the game. They have a chance at teh National Championship, which is almost always owned by the SEC champs. They might not win, but they won’t quit. It won’t be a blowout.

  53. Octopus says:

    This. From the mouths of babes, this.

  54. Bunk X says:

  55. Bunk X says:

    Nobody noticed Iggy Pop at LAX.

  56. rightymouse says:

    Come on over, Gussy. You’ll feel like a new man! 🙂

  57. Octopus says:

    I would flush money down the toilet, before sending this mooch a thin dime. 😂

  58. ISTE says:

    I love online shopping. Today I ran out of clean socks so ordered a year supply of them. I hate doing laundry!

    I also got a new pair of shoes because the ones I have somehow got stinky.

    Anyway a year supply of socks and new shoes AWESOME!

    2 items

    Sold and shipped by Walmart

    Dr. Scholl’s Men’s Dave Work Shoe
    $35.84/EA
    Qty: 1
    $35.84

    Hanes Men’s Max Cushion Big & Tall Crew Socks, 12-Pack
    $13.46/EA
    Qty: 1
    $13.46
    Order summary

    Subtotal $49.30
    Taxes $4.07

    Total $53.37

    Now all I need to get is a 12 pack of men’s knickers and….

    NO DOING LAUNDRY UNTIL DECEMBER 2022

    ( living alone has advantages )

  59. ISTE says:

    Just went online to order deodorant. It asked me ” ball type or aerosol”.

    I said ” neither, it is for under my arms. “

    • ISTE says:

      Tough crowd in here tonight…

      • rightymouse says:

        That’s the way I feel in the morning. 😦

        • ISTE says:

          Next Sunday the ISTE and Possum Comedy Club will be looking for a new venue. Actually just passing time, too tired to go wreak havoc on Twitter and too early to go to bed.

          I should read a book, but the assholes I live with stole my reading glasses months ago.

          They are not behind the couch. I don’t have one.

  60. ISTE says:

    Well I am done with the Internet for today. Went to a British blog place called https://going-postal.com/ where their headline says ” no one reads the comments ” which in its self is a funny as no one seems to comment on the article but the comments are wild.

    Latest article is about something to do with a military operation in Columbia and in the comments is a deep and meaningful discussion about an ailment suffered by women in the cold English climate called ” winter vagina ”

    Something to do with tight clothes and airflow and fresh air and other things.

  61. rightymouse says:

    Have no idea if this is a real pic or photoshopped. 😯