Charles Johnson’s Election Anal ysis

The most important thing noticed by the Magical Jazzy Covid Detector last night was:


279 Comments on “Charles Johnson’s Election Anal ysis”

  1. Bunk X says:

    Gus is up early this morning, retweeting.

  2. rightymouse says:

    Fatso voting.

  3. Koko says:

    Trump was leading both last night/early morn when they stopped counting. 300,000 new votes found overnight 100% for Biden. Somebody pointed out this makes WI voter turnout at 88% which is unheard of.

  4. Koko says:

    Turns out the MI anomaly was some county adding a 0 to their 15,000 reported votes. Just so happened in the wee hours when no one was looking. Prior to the mistake admission Twitter flagged all the Tweets discussing the impossibility of 138,000 votes coming in 100% for Biden all at once.

    Note only our side notices these anomalies. None of the official experts ever notice. I watched Fox News for a couple hours today – no one mentioned it or noticed the strange straight up blue line. Or commented that Trump was firmly in the lead when the counting stopped. Or wondered why a tiny county took ‘til 4am to count and report their paltry votes. Wrongly.

    The only people who have POTUS back are his family and his voters.

  5. Koko says:

    Mumbles is declaring himself now. 😒🤮

  6. Octopus says:

    So, we both have the ‘Rona. And both daughters, too. Took 8 months for the 🦠 to catch up with us. Into quarantine for two weeks. 😠

    On the good side, the suspense is over, and worrying about catching it. Just have to get over it.

    • rightymouse says:

      Good grief! Please take care. You should be fine as you are on good health. Please keep us updated.

      • rightymouse says:

        What meds will you be taking?

        • rightymouse says:

          Remember to take Vitamin D3 and aspirin. Wuhan can cause clotting.

          • Octopus says:

            I am taking, per my brother-in-law’s orders, vitamins D3, B12, zinc, magnesium and my daily vitamin. Didn’t say anything about aspirin, but I’ll toss one of those down, too. No other medications, except Tylenol if the fever goes up – I had a 100.7 last night, but it’s down to 99 this morning, after a sweaty night. Some coughing, like a regular cold. So far, not too bad. I can still taste and smell, which is nice – my younger daughter can’t do either.

          • rightymouse says:

            Thanks for the update! I take two baby aspirin daily and have been taking Vitamin D3 for years. Prayers for all of you!

          • Bunk X says:

            Stay out of the hospital, and remember that viruses don’t like hangovers either.

          • Octopus says:

            Is that true, Doc? Because I have an unopened bottle of Tito’s on the shelf over here, acting all neglected and shit. And other stuff, like hot toddy makings. I think I should probably hold off on that stuff until things settle down.

            On the other hand, alcohol is said to reduce your immune response. The chief killer in the Covid arena is the cytokine storm, where your immune system goes hogwild and floods your system with way too many white blood cells, and then your lungs fill up, get inflamed, and you choke to death. So…🤓🤔

          • Abu says:

            Be well, Octo, and family too.🙂

          • Octopus says:

            Thanks, Abu. So far, so good. 👍🏻

    • Koko says:

      That sucks! Hopefully it will just be like a cold for you all at worst. Do they have you on any theraputic drugs?

      The wife had a bad cold week before last and had to get tested. Negative, thankfully.

  7. rightymouse says:

    Am watching Newsmax before Tucker comes on Fox. Am not happy with Fox right now except for a few like Tucker, Hannity, Watters, Gutfeld, Levin and Ingraham.

  8. rightymouse says:

    Also having Chris Wallace and Donna Brazille on last night.

  9. Bunk X says:

    From the Mothership.

  10. rightymouse says:

    The shelves in our kitchen cabinets are being upgraded today. Hubby wants the slide-out kind. Some have them and some don’t. We’re upgrading the latter.

    • rightymouse says:

      The slide-out shelves are marvelous! Especially in the lower shelves. When one gets older, bending down to search inside a cabinet is a bit of a chore. 😆

      • Octopus says:

        We could do that here, too. Problem is, when I mention something like that, She gets all excited (Project!!1!), and turns it into, “We should just replace ALL the cabinets!” And more. 😅

  11. Bunk X says:

    I was at the clinic yesterday, and on whim asked if I could get the .dcm files of the CT scan I had last week. They burned a DVD that included a viewer. I found a little happy dude waving at me.

  12. dezzez says:

    Pity party alert lol.

  13. Bunk X says:

    😀
    Michigan Attorney General Pleads With Public to Stop Telling Her Staff to Shove Sharpies Up Their Butts
    https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2020/11/not-onion-michigan-attorney-general-pleads-public-stop-telling-staff-shove-sharpies-butts/

    • Bunk X says:

  14. Bunk X says:

    “Gus, in one sentence, how would you describe yourself?”

  15. Bunk X says:

  16. ISTE says:

    Latest outrage is Anne Hathaway apologizes to limb difference community for ‘Witches’ controversy.

    The witch seems to only have three fingers and OUTRAGE!!!!!

    The limb difference community is up in arms, or arm or whatever a limb difference community has different.

    Mickey Mouse agrees!

    • ISTE says:

      Also, if I had a child that was born with only three fingers I would buy that child many toys. Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck, Daisy Duck, Goofy and many more….

      Thinking about it a pet sloth would be cool….

      Well, any child that lost a finger or a thumb in later life I would say ” That is why your god gave you so many “

  17. Octopus says:

    “Special Protections”
    😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  18. Octopus says:

    By the way, I’ve been checking out some of my favorite Twitter folks this morning, and couldn’t help noticing Jack & Minions are on a suspending spree. They feel totally free now, to enforce their anti-conservative agenda.

  19. Koko says:

    Mumbles and Giggles have won. The courts never work for Repubs, certainly not a universally hated outsider. To build and argue their case will take well past the inaugeration. They would win halfway through Biden’s first term. And I don’t see SCOTUS as Deus Ex Machina at this point.

    Election 2020 live updates: Biden takes lead in count in Pennsylvania and Georgia

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/elections/2020/11/06/trump-biden-election-live-updates/

  20. rightymouse says:

    Like Bunk said, you stupid idiot, it ain’t until the covfefe roars.

  21. Bunk X says:

    Some people are hoping to win Gorga. I’d like to, but the missus won’t let me enter the contest.

  22. Koko says:

    To switch things up a bit the Deep State OSC is investigating Trump for campaigning in the WH.

    https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2020/11/doj-jumps-action-special-counsel-opens-investigation-president-trump-using-white-house-campaign/

    OSC not to be confused with Oscy – the 15 yr old kid who wore the same dirty sweatshirt all summer and got laid first in the book ‘The Summer Of ‘42’. A book I read in one sitting over Christmas eve night probably around ‘77 when I was a teen.

  23. Koko says:

  24. Koko says:

    LOL!

  25. Koko says:

  26. Koko says:

    Oh golly wally. They’re in trouble now with the F. B. I. !!!!! That’s the REAL DEAL right there. You are in BIG TROUBLE NOW!!!!! They’re gonna take all your laptops and LOSE THEM. And they’re gonna take all your eye phones and smart phones and LOSE THEM. Then they’re gonna give special immunity to run scot free and say “Tell us every thing you know or else!” Or else we’re gonna hafta surveil Trump! What the hell else do you think? Are you stupit?

    https://www.citizenfreepress.com/breaking/john-solomon-fbi-is-working-with-michigan-election-whistleblower/

  27. Koko says:

  28. ChenZhen says:

    It’s been awhile. How you guys doin?

  29. Koko says:

    Hah!

  30. Koko says:

    LOL! Oh Jeez!

  31. Koko says:

    Ah. 2012. Like it was yesterday.

    beedMarch 23, 2012 at 12:55 pm
    I remember the days when Charles would beat a woman sexless for not “giving him what he wants when he wants it”.

    beedMarch 23, 2012 at 12:59 pm
    Oh how I remember. These are not fond memories, but memories none the less. Who can forget a 300 pound man biking through a California winter storm to recapture the honor which was stolen from him in August that same year. None has ever taken a brighter picture of a super tanker.

    beedMarch 23, 2012 at 1:03 pm
    I remember a man so mighty he convinced the world February has 30 days through a simple misprint in a calendar.

    beedMarch 23, 2012 at 1:05 pm
    I remember a man so mighty not even a single semen went to waste.

    beedMarch 23, 2012 at 1:10 pm
    I remember a man so glorious he could bring sexy back like whenever.

    beedMarch 23, 2012 at 1:12 pm
    I remember a man so potent he impregnated all of Southern Sahara during El Ninio.

    dwells38March 23, 2012 at 1:54 pm
    He was a giant of a man.

    beedMarch 23, 2012 at 1:15 pm
    Sure, it wasn’t all bad. Like Charles used to say: “But who gave us the Beetle?”

    E. Sophi GussMarch 23, 2012 at 1:40 pm
    This is what happens when normally nobody replies to beed.

    Bunk XMarch 23, 2012 at 2:45 pm
    Sad isn’t it? And to think that his childhood was so… so normal.

    • Bunk X says:

      LMAO
      Where the hell did you find that?!
      Better yet, why the hell did you find that??

      • Koko says:

        Because when the going gets weird….

      • Koko says:

        No really. It was you! You big nut! I went to Blogmoc and found this comment you posted yesterday! Clicked it. Then I scrolled forward out of nostalgia several posts and comment threads and found that humorous beed bit. REAL beed.

        Bunk X
        83 | November 7, 2020 2:06 am
        @ 4_Sticks:
        No complaints from me. I’m only here for the wise ass remarks.

        If you’re interested, there’s an (almost) complete Excel spreadsheet of The Banned that includes dates, Karma points and other stuff. A group of ex-lizards on FaceBook seemed to like it.
        https://diaryofdaedalus.wordpress.com/2012/03/21/analysis-and-conclusion-why-lizardoid-blocked-over-10000-lgf-accounts-last-year/
        Scroll down for the link to the download.

        reply | quote

        Bunk X
        84 | November 7, 2020 2:12 am
        @ Bunk X:
        @ 4_Sticks:
        Or give me your swamp nic and I’ll look it up for you.

        reply | quote

        Bunk X
        85 | November 7, 2020 2:25 am
        😀 😀 😀

        reply | quote

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  32. ISTE says:

    Read the replies this tweet.

    • ISTE says:

      Now the reality. and yes when the nice police officer had yelled ” Drop the fucking gun ” about 20 times eventually the innocent black man who was just walking did drop the gun he didn’t have.

      • Bunk X says:

        Crump’s inciting another peaceful protest.

        • Octopus b says:

          That pathetic a-hole committed suicide-by-cop. Anyone exploiting this should be shot, too.

          Love the “where is the taser”-comment. Classico!
          For the record, it’s up your ass and to the left, buddy.

  33. Koko says:

    See this is where Chonky went wrong and why he’s broke as a joke with no beyotches. He failed to pimp his blog…

  34. Koko says:

    OH MY FUCKING GOTT. Osprey1 posted this 8 years ago. So wonderful!

    I NOW GET IT. I HAVE an iPad Pro. I wasn’t stupid enough to buy a data plan for it because I have an iPhone with said plan. I do all the texting to the kids and phone calls on that. But the iPad IS INDEED a giant iPhone. This becomes so apparent when you own both. I can download shit from Amazon Prime, Netflix, Hulu…using the internet but never do. When the power goes out I just use my giant iPhone 11 or whatever ( I have the biggest phone you can get, it’s like a small tablet) the fuck to watch videos on like 4 or 5G or something. I’m sittin’ in a dark house with nothing but candles STREAMING TV shows and movies on some G. There’s no latency or spooling. It’s SWEET! I’m like a retarded child with a credit card. 😆

    The Jobs puppet is spot on! LOL! I wish I knew that guy. I love blunt people. Why I voted for Trump.

    • Koko says:

      It was one of you here, probably you Bunk who said iPads are magical toys. And I’ve treated it as such ever since. Never got fooled into thinking I could do real work on it. I had a Logitech keyboard/case and it was shit. It literally broke apart. And the touch tech is crap. iPad is just a toy for grown ups. If you want to stay in bed and watch a FULL FEATURE MOVIE!! it’s for you! Unbelievable beautiful HD while you’re flat on your back sipping coffee with headphones on!. I’m sure it can do spreadsheets and .pps too painstakingly. Screw that. When I need to do real work again, ( if ever again) I can use the ASUS monster in the basement. But realistically since the wife won’t give me space upstairs for it then I’m buying an MS laptop. Yeah Bill’s a goon but at least I can find the fucking hard drive. Ever try that on an Apple? I’ll buy her one too. She’s been limping around with some Google Chrome retard machine that can’t talk to her printer. I’m like WTF? We can get out of there with two screamers for probably about $1500 and have a functioning office.

      • ISTE says:

        The monster size iPad pro is the greatest kick ass computing thingy I have ever seen. The one that has 12.9 inch screen.

        • Koko says:

          Yes that’s mine! I hate it. Yet I love it. It mocks me yet seduces me. How can it be so user freindly yet then just slam a door like a woman? 😁

          • ISTE says:

            i really don’t like the whole apple thing. just got a refurbished iphone 7 for $110 from straight talk just to see what an iphone was. previously for six years i was buying the $50 android phones..

            i hate the fucking thing….

            LOL but Siri is funny to talk to.

          • ISTE says:

            Siri has no problem installing fishing games for my cats.

            Try saying “hey Siri install Alexa” and suddenly Siri can’t understand me.

          • Koko says:

            Problem is I tend to sweat the small stuff. My daughters pity me.

        • Bunk X says:

          I got one, still don’t know how to use it.

  35. Koko says:

    Fox News is now celebtating Maria Harf who, through all the Trump rallies continued to say Biden will win. Such courage!

  36. Koko says:

    Watching their celebration on Fox News while Andy McCarthy explains they failed to shore up the scam with appropriate logical losses in the House and Senate. On the street they’re trying to look adulatory but It looks pretty strained. Young girls are ignorantly jumping around but older people know what Biden is.

    This is a day of mourning.

  37. Koko says:

    Do you think Fox News realizes they just pulled a Megyn Kelly and now both sides hate their guts? And what’s the point now, anyway? We now have a guy who napped in his basement through a Pres campaign. Where Trump hit the ground running this idiot will just hit the ground and face plant.

    Here’s Kamala slurring at Joe “eYew didit, eYew didit Joe…Yer gonna be th’ next Prezedint of the United States.”

    https://www.npr.org/2020/11/07/930858267/game-changer-kamala-harris-makes-history-as-next-vice-president

    This willbe watching the leftard comedians tip toe around this train wreck

  38. Koko says:

    LOL!

  39. Koko says:

    CNN headline on their website: BIDEN WINS.

    Not flagged on Twitter despite several crooked states still trying to sort out the steal.🤣

    • Koko says:

      It has to be dawning on a few they are in the midst of a major feloney. And no one with a known public name will be going to jail if it’s proven. Leaving…the minions.

  40. Koko says:

    https://www.foxnews.com/media/cnns-jake-tapper-declares-the-trump-era-is-over

    CNN’s Jake Tapper declares the ‘Trump era,’ the ‘long national nightmare is over

    Did he really say that hackneyed old cliche? Of course he did! 😆

    Fox News: And I hailped!

    Gramma. Can I hailp ya steal a national election? Sure sweetie. Shake and Bake is ma seekrit ressa pea!!

  41. Koko says:

    Chonky and the victorious left thinks this is HI larious.

    In other news Fox News features our first black and woman VP, Chuckles Harris 😆 She’ll be heading up the COVID 19 team in no time.

  42. Octopus says:

    My mood isn’t the best right now.

  43. Koko says:

    Joe Biden with the greatest entrance ever! Just kidding. It’s Chris Farley. It is stunningly good. Too bad it’s on the biggest pompous dickead ever’s show.

    • Octopus says:

      As entertaining as that was, and I love Chris Farley, my hatred for Letterman and knowing how badly Chris was struggling at this point in his life kind of casts a pall. But I still loved watching him own the joint. 😄

      • Koko says:

        I hear that. I really think Chris lived in the moment and was a loving person. And would have never wanted to put that pain on his family, loved ones and fans intentionally. I think he just made a mistake. Like Belushi, believed the hype that he’s indestructible.

  44. rightymouse says:

    Am watching Diamond and Silk on Newsmax. Have missed them!

  45. Koko says:

    https://thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/524979-republican-lawsuit-over-sharpie-marked-ballots-in-arizona-will-be?amp

    So………why were they handing out Sharpie markers instead of ball point pens? – which are cheaper? Don’t see an answer here.

  46. Koko says:

    https://www.breitbart.com/border/2020/11/07/mexican-president-imprudent-to-congratulate-biden-before-elections-legal-issues-resolved/

    Hmmm. Seems a President from a known third world country has a sixth sense about these things. I bet he’s seen every dirty trick.

  47. Koko says:

    https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2020/11/joe-biden-sham-victory-parking-lot-party-230-million-thousand-americans-lost-loved-one-coronavirus-video/

    He keeps getting it wrong. It’s the same fact he’s been saying for weeks and still says million instead of thousand FIRST. Sometimes he catches himself, sometimes not. He doesn’t understand numbers otherwise he wouldn’t fuck that up EVERY TIME with the national news recording him. When my FIL was first diagnosed with Alzheimer’s a simple test was to give him 75 cents in change made up of dimes, nickels, pennies and quarters. If they can’t say what that adds up to they’re pretty far along.

    I wouldn’t EVER make that mistake because I know the US population is 350,000,000+. So saying 230 mil died would be CAPTAIN FUCKING TRIPPS. Life would be way different for we survivors. A new car would merely mean walking into your neighbors house, stepping over the cadavers and taking the keys to their Range Rover. Fucking idiot.

  48. Koko says:

    https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2020/11/felt-like-drug-deal-asian-american-ballot-observer-detroit-describes-mysterious-van-dropping-off-61-boxes-ballots-4-video/

    Wow. This sounds like exactly what the stats show early morning on 11/04. A massive leap 100% for Mumbles at 4am in both WI and MI Too bad any reference to this story, this person and their account will be blocked on all establishment social media and MSM. And will be regarded in the Demoncrap courts as “hearsay” and coming from a “conspiracy website”. And to be forever relegated to Urban Myth status.

  49. Koko says:

    https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2020/11/wow-fox-news-cancels-judge-jeanine-saturday-night-spew-nonsense-joe-biden-won-election/

    Because you wouldn’t want an actual judge who already has a show to comment on this real-time mess. I fear this is only the beginning. Think about it. O’Reilly out by unproven allegations, Hannity – tried to piss him off giving him 9pm slot and giving 8pm to Tucker. Then tried to push Tucker out with weak allegations from a crazy leftwing professionally spurned trollop. Dumped Trish Regan (beautiful, basically Lou Dobbs in a skirt). But kept cartoonish Kennedy who viscously attacked Rudy. Now cute attractive Judge Janine dumped with no explanation. All our favorites….

    they want them gone.

  50. Octopus says:

    Fox is dead to me. I know, there are still several people there that aren’t rat-bastards, but their days are numbered, too. I won’t support the skeletal remains of what once was. Exploring options as we speak. And coughing a lot. Also, ask me about the diarrhea phase. Bet you dint know about that. 😳😂

    • Bunk X says:

      “I know about waxing & waning, but geepers. What’s the diarrhea phase Uncle Octo?”

      • ISTE says:

        The diarrhea phase is the result of eating comfort foods like CURRY!!!!!

        • Bunk X says:

          Last year Nurse Rachel put me on iron supplements, told me that it causes constipation so I’d need to take a stool softener, Ducolax or something.

          Me: “How many should I take?”
          NR: “I don’t know. You’ll just have to play with it.”
          Me: “You want me to play with my poop?”
          NR: “Stop bein’ a dick.”

          • ISTE says:

            Iron supplements turn your shit black.

            Egg yolks yellow.

            Cashew nuts a crunchy speckled texture,

            Whole baby mushrooms not chewed emerge exactly the same as when swallowed.

            Also corn survives intact. ( Google corn showing contest )

            So, if I was creative and artistic because I know shit I could have a youtube channel dedicated to colourful and creative shit.

            Maybe next week…..

          • Bunk X says:

            When the kids were babies we leaned how to color code the poops. Feed ’em some strained beets for when friends come over, and it’s like
            “Hey Jeff! Betcha ten bucks the poop is purple.”

          • Octopus says:

            One time I let the older girl have some of my chili, when babysitting her while the wifey was out philandering, or taking a nap so she wouldn’t go completely insane. One of those. Baby Grace had just started eating solid food, which we were conscientiously making ourselves in the food processor. I just let her have a few spoonfuls of the chili – she really liked
            In the interest of not losing my scalp to Politenessman’s steel hankie, I will not tell you about the sights and smells encountered in her next diaper change. 😱😱🤪

          • rightymouse says:

            When my baby was a baby, he started having smelly & runny poops. I took him to the Dr. who wanted to put him through all sorts of expensive & time-consuming tests. I was convinced it was something he was ingesting even though he wasn’t eating people food yet. So I started taking things out of his daily diet. Turned out that apple juice and apple sauce were the culprits.

          • Octopus says:

            Apples are actually not that easy to digest. The pectin stays with you for awhile, which is why they’re a great snack for dieters. I eat one everyday, around 2-2:30.

  51. Koko says:

    I don’t know what to say other than he was one in a billion.

  52. Koko says:

    Here’s a fun one for the brass player/owners. 😀. Doc ends the chart on a high Bb flat concert. So high C on trumpet (we’re up a step from concert) or what we call double C. C above the staff plus an octave. Only a bona fide lead trumpeter owns that. In my day they only needed a high F or Double G. Classical players will avoid playing that high because it requires high compression and hence a vice like pressure on the chops – aka embouchure. Inviting injury. He’s right you have to consider what you have to do the next day. And remember Doc, though a virtuoso doesn’t pay the bills hitting that note like a studio guy would. And there’s usually only one or two guys and now gals in any city that can do that. So Johnny bone headedly challenges him to play as high as he can!! And Doc being a true blue ego stud trumpeter won’t back down! And nearly passes out. 😄🙏🏻

  53. Bunk X says:

    Yeah, I get bored sometimes.

  54. rightymouse says:

    HOLY CRAP!!

  55. Koko says:

    Damn cruel vegetarians.

  56. Koko says:

    Flightless birds explained:

    • Octopus says:

      Thanks, Koko — these are some great videos I can use to spam the family text-thread, which has gone thermonuclear. The count is 4-4, Moonbats vs. Sane People, with one person, my sister in Colorado, abstaining completely from the discussion. Just when things had gotten so hot last night the talk turned personal, I lobbed in a cute animals video from The Dodo, and they subsided. It’s already started up again, this morning. 😱😂

    • Octopus says:

      “You never want to lose your base. Once you lose your base, you’re in serious trouble.“

      Somewhere in a dismal swamp, an enormous blobfish is sadly nodding.

    • rightymouse says:

      “The backlash had been brewing for a while but really took off after Chris Wallace’s dreadful and dreadfully biased and dishonest role as moderator in the first presidential debate between President Trump and Joe Biden.”

  57. Koko says:

    I agree with Ricky. English is a stupid language. Basically a super-pigin grafted onto for commercial purposes then repaved as some sacred relic by the royal PR geeks. When you’ve been over run by Romans, Vikings, Germans and had to bed down with Scots and Welsh yahoos and your queens were jumping the local Irish sharp shooter bowmen….yuh get English. But it is fun!

    • Octopus says:

      Another interesting thing about current English is the influx of words, phrases and rhythms from Black Americans. Watch the white country folk on Maury, as I did this past week. Or, watch a white Dem political hack addressing black folks.

      “Ah’s always been keepin’ a l’il bottle of hot sauce in mine’s Gucci bag, jus’ in case!”

      “Dey wants to put y’all back in chains!”

      And all like that.

      • Bunk X says:

        The slaves done learnt the Anglish from dey masters who spoked de same way.
        Lotta dialects came from the ‘peeins, and migrated south, especially with the gemermans and the scots.

    • rightymouse says:

      That was funny! 😆

  58. Koko says:

    And what does Tina think about all this?

    • Octopus says:

      Words cannot describe, how much I love and fear this gal. 😂

      • rightymouse says:

        She’s awesome!! 😆

        • Octopus says:

          She fights. We need profane soldiers, like Lincoln needed a General who drank sometimes. Like America needed (needs) Trump.

          • Octopus says:

            Little Miss Dangerous! In fact, I have a good mind to do an intercut version of Ted Nugent’s song, with some of her finest raving mixed-in. It could be epic. It also could be not-epic. We’ll see.

  59. Octopus says:

    There was an Oreo on the lamp table next to my La-Z-Boy just now, and I picked it up and ate it. My wife came in the room seconds later, with the coffee pot, to kindly give me a refill.

    As she was pouring, she said, “Where’s that Oreo that was on the table?”

    I said, “I ate it.”

    She said, “No, you didn’t.”

    I said, concerned now, “Yes, I did!”

    She said, “I just took that away from Henry – he was licking it, on the floor.”

    I was so relieved! I thought maybe there was something wrong with the cookie. 😃

  60. Octopus says:

    Sent to me by a conservative colleague this morning:

    ————————

    I am making this post so it will show back up as a future memory on my timeline: Today is four days after the 2020 election. Gasoline is currently $1.80-2.10 per gallon. Interest rates are 2.65% for a 30 year mortgage. The stock market closed at 27,848, even though we have been fighting COVID for 9 months. Our GDP growth for the 3rd Qtr was 33%. We had the best economy ever until COVID and it is recovering well. We have not had any new wars or conflicts in the last 4 years. North Korea has been under control and has not been testing any missiles. Isis has not been heard from for over 3 years. The housing market is the strongest in over 20 years. Homes have appreciated at an unbelievable rate and sell within hours of going on the market, with multiple offers. I hope our new leadership can build on these things and can keep them going, but if I were a betting person I would bet that the only place we will see these results will be in this post.

    Keep a copy to compare later. 11-7-2020

    We will compare this time next year!

    I copied and pasted this. You should, too.

    • rightymouse says:

      I am scared to death over my IRA. It’s back up now to where it was before Covid tanked the market. A Biden/Harris win could mean economic ruin. Ugh.

      • Bunk X says:

        Mine, too, minus about 8 months of lost earnings.

      • Koko says:

        They will crap the economy but I don’t think the markets will get hurt. The fed will keep interest rates at zero and Mumbles and team will want to continue stimulus cotton candy which markets like. Despite the economic malaise during Obungle the markets did great for our retirement investments because 0 interest means cheap money. Would expect that to continue. Disclaimer: opinion only here. I am not a pro.

  61. Pakimon says:

    After spending yesterday afternoon in a peevish rage over Sleepy Joe being pronounced “The Winner” by all the propaganda organs even though not a single swing state vote has been certified yet due to *ahem* numerous “irregularities”, I stumbled upon this article put out at American Thinker this morning.

    https://www.americanthinker.com/articles/2020/11/wait_just_a_minute_some_very_good_news_may_be_coming.html

    Not only is it not over, the Fat Ponytailed Blogger Lady hasn’t even started to warm up yet let alone sing…

    Looking forward to some outraged shrieking and squealing coming from the direction of Culver City in the coming days. 😀

    • rightymouse says:

      I hope & pray you are correct. The press, and most of social media, is rigged for Biden. Disgusting.

    • Koko says:

      So your saying I can stop drinking now? 😁

      • Octopus says:

        Lighten up, Francis:

        The Saturday Night Joke
        
        How a marriage works

        A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn’t wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies .

        So, he said to his new wife, ‘Honey, I’ll be right back.’

        ‘Where are you going, coochy coo? asked the wife.

        ‘I’m going to the bar, pretty face. I’ m going to have a beer.’

        The wife said, ‘You want a beer, my love?’

        She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Germany , Holland , Japan , India ,etc.

        The husband didn’t know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, ‘Yes, lolly pop…but at the bar…you know…they have frozen glasses…’

        He didn’t get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying,

        ‘You want a frozen glass, puppy face?’

        She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

        The husband, looking a bit pale, said, ‘Yes, tootsie roll, but at the Bar they have those hors d’oeuvres that are really delicious… I won’t be long, I’ll be right back. I promise. OK?’

        You want hors d’oeuvres, poochi pooh?’ She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d’oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

        ‘But my sweet honey… At the bar… You know…there’s swearing, dirty words and all that…’

        ‘You want dirty words, Dickhead? Drink your fucking beer in your Goddamn frozen mug and eat your mother fucking snacks, because you are Married now, and you aren’t fucking going anywhere! Got it, Asshole?’

        ……..and, they lived happily ever after!

  62. Octopus says:

    I’m gonna rewrite an oldie for today’s kids:

    One moonbat-reporter says to the other, “Do you want to play twenty questions?”

    The other moonbat-reporter asks, “What is that?”

    The first asshole-loser says, “I write something on a piece of paper, and you get twenty questions to guess what it is.“

    So he takes out a piece of paper and writes “donkey dick” on it. The other shit-for-brains takes a second to think and asks, “Can you eat it?”

    And the first partisan-pederast replies, “Well, I reckon you can.”

    The other one says, “Is it donkey dick?”

  63. Bunk X says:

    Eaglesoars posted this link at the Mothership.
    https://www.americanthinker.com/articles/2020/11/wait_just_a_minute_some_very_good_news_may_be_coming.html

    “I realized that I, like millions of others, had been numbed into despondency by the overwhelming press, media, social media push to certify President-Elect Biden. (I put that in there so you can see how repellent it is.)

    Hey guys, this thing is not only not over; it is scary for Biden. I mean really scary, and most of all, the media know it. Thus, the rush to get everyone in line with the narrative that a 78-year-old, early-dementia former V.P., who could not draw a crowd larger than a dozen, just beat D.J. in a fair election.

    Process that for a moment.”

    • Bunk X says:

      I see Mr. Pakimon already posted that link up thread.
      We should abolish time zones.

      • Octopus says:

        Is that real-ish? I mean, that’s the coolest form of self-defense ever.

        However, I have to tell the species, there were hundreds of you ‘dilloes creamed across the highway in a couple of states on my last trip Out West, which seems like a million years ago. You guys need to throw in a wrinkle or two. Maybe a little, “Stop, Drop And Roll?”

        • Bunk X says:

          It’s real, except I copied the .gif frames, reversed them and stitched it back together with free software courtesy of ISTE.

  64. Koko says:

    Here’s one for Octo as he convelesces. He likes those retro cuties. They remind us of our awsome daughters and awaken dim urges from distant conquests past. 😁

    • Octopus says:

      Thank you – I enjoyed that thoroughly. She’s gawjuss, too. 😀

      • Octopus says:

        Speaking of the convalescing, I have to say, this Covid thing has been extremely kind to me. I expected a lot worse. Today, the sinuses are clearing, the fever is gone, and the diarrhea is also gone. WTF, Covid?! That all you got? 😆

        Okay, now that I’m probably dead for saying that out loud, I beseech thee, Jesus, to have mercy on my poor soul. I was just joshin’! You know, for the buddies, a few guffaws, a slap on the back, and then goosing the Albanian secretary, who ends up straddling me with a karambit knife to my jugular, just a drop of blood on the razor-sharp tip of said knife? All in good fun.

        But seriously, everyone seems to be okay, and on the mend. My younger daughter had it the worst, probably because of her asthma and constant allergy irritation in the sinuses. That poor girl has had some struggles — she deserves her own chapter. Not kidding. She was the first to get it, and it looks like she’ll be the first to recover. She went down in the basement gym and ran on the treadmill for 45 minutes, after she promised to just walk for a few minutes, to get some stress out. I think I’ll give it a try, tomorrow.

        In this clip, I’m Rocky, and Covid is Mr. T-Cell.

        • Koko says:

          That’s great your daughter is on the mend. She sounds like a proper fighter! Off the old block as they say. Hope your wife is faring well. With her sick too you can’t expect sympathy! You’ll have to bring each other soups.

          • Octopus says:

            https://www.amazon.com/photos/shared/i-0WWOEvSySaPQ3vEO8niA.OnQpFSJXnhlUja4uPcLxVH

            We’ve had so much chicken soup! I went out and bought ten cans of Progresso, and then my SIL brought over a big thing of Greek avgolemeno, the chicken soup with lemon. God, I love that stuff now, when I used to really hate it. Who puts lemon in chicken soup? The Greeks. And they have a word for it.

            Then, tonight my wife’s cousin brought over a big thing of Costco chicken soup, which was also amazingly good. Don’t let anyone tell you Costco is less than. It’s more than. All their shit is good!

            Tomorrow I’m having steak and baked potato with broccoli. Time to show this Kung Flu the door. 😄

  65. Koko says:

    When the help gets uppity? 😆. They fuckin’ crush!

  66. Octopus says:

    Is it un-Christian of me to wish very bad fortune upon these two pieces of walking shit? Yes, of course it is. Do I care? Maybe a little. How about a broken femur, for the both of them? A matching set. One by taxi, one by baseball bat. Is that so wronggg?

    • Octopus says:

      Maybe someday Gus can limp down the street with them, and duck into the nearest Safeway alley for a two-handed threesome. And pics will emerge, that get published in Teh Star. That would be fine.

    • Koko says:

      I think compound fractures are in order.

  67. Koko says:

    I think I’ve made this point here before but it seems particularly apt now. The lyric:

    “In the beauty of the lilies Christ was born across the sea
    With a glory in His bosom that transfigures you and me
    As He died to make men holy let us live to make men free
    While God is marching on”

    It’s not let us live which is some American infantized “everyone wins!” edit. It’s let us DIE to make men free. We’re expected to die for our republic and our freedom.

    This little sweet german ginger is ready to fucking die for her freedom. Are we?

  68. Octopus says:

    The past couple of days, I’ve been listening to the Bob Seger stuff I never really went after, in the years between the huge “Bob Seger System” (around here, anyway) and his breakout success in the late-70’s. He wasn’t sitting idly by. He was crushing it with blues-heavy rock songs, one after another, that just weren’t pop enough for the radio, and of course he had label problems, as every young musician seems to. It was a very ambitious, scrambling time for young rockers, and guys with talent flitted around from band to band, looking for the golden ticket. Seger was also very picky with his band, as you have to be if you want to be great, and let a bunch of people go when their talent and/or personal issues stopped making sense for the mission.

    Anyway, you can find a lot of fine, but still raw, Detroit/American blues music, in his “unsuccessful period.” He was honing his craft, as the great ones do. Bob will tell you himself, he wasn’t the genius who got it all right on his first try. He just kept at it. At the time, he was very envious of Creedence Clearwater Revival’s John Fogerty, who he saw as the epitome of the perfect American rocker, and who can really argue that one? A few years later, Springsteen, who turned out to be a Communist asshole, was jealous of Seger for “effortlessly” doing the whole thing right, and being able to “sing the phone-book, and make people like it.”

    Naow, I’m going to do the sidebar-thing, and everyone here should just STFD, and STFU. Just for about fifteen minutes. Thanx!

    • Octopus says:

      Would it be kinda fun to be a 20-year-old rocker with the talent and future of Seger in front of you? Well, Seger says he had a huge knot in his stomach all the time, and thought he was going to starve to death and die homeless. Funny how life works.

      Under the ill-fitting hippie-mufti, Seger was a gifted bluesman with a thousand stories to tell. He ain’t daid, so maybe I shouldn’t say “was.” But he is an old guy now, who smokes too much and sits around the house like a retiree. His latest concert tour was shot down by Covid. He might not make another round.

      • Octopus says:

        6:45 Beavis and Butthead rock gif. 😆

        • Octopus says:

          Seger tries to explain to the boring, pretentious Greek-Amerian Bob Costas about where he got his musical education, and a whole lot more. Costas, I hate — sorry I have to post his hideous visage. 😆

  69. Koko says:

    Uh. American presidents aren’t dictators you fucking moron. So don’t congratulate youself for being a cheating pusbag skank.

    https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2020/11/fox-news-heirs-wife-kathryn-murdoch-calls-trump-dictator-tweets-fox-news-declares-biden-winner/

  70. Octopus says:

    The unmitigated ignorance! 😂

    Shut up, stupid. Go check the water pressure in your chest balloons.

  71. Koko says:

    Maria and Sidney