Get another 3am phone call, Charles?

In 2011, post-meltdown Johnson posted this:

That comment linked to this:

And now Al-Jazeera is a credible reference.

#rumpswab


193 Comments on “Get another 3am phone call, Charles?”

  1. Octopus says:

    Chonky has been named “a righteous infidel” by Al-Jazeera, for his laudatory jihad against Western Civilization.

  2. Octopus says:

    Gus went on a blocking and banning spree last night, after killing off a case of Canned Heat. Boy, that stuff gets him heated up in a hurry! He gets seriously chafed. 🤯

  3. Octopus says:

    Read this thread! 😂😂😂😂

    I guess the Idiot Left is conceding Trump’s second term, since they’re all het up about him going for a third in ‘24. That’s so funny. 🤪😱😂

  4. rightymouse says:

    Fatso was called Righteous Gentile until Obama was elected POTUS. Then he decided that being called Fat Bastard was better.

  5. rightymouse says:

    Fat Bastard Johnson is an effing idiot.

  6. rightymouse says:

    SPEAKING GERMAN IN TEXAS

    In Texas there is a town called New Braunfels,where there is a large German-speaking population. One day, a local rancher driving down a country road noticed a man using his hand to drink water from the rancher’s stock pond.The rancher rolled down the window and shouted: “Sehr angenehm! Trink das Wasser nicht. Die kuehe haben darein geschissen.”
    This means: “Glad to meet you! Don’t drink the water. The cows have shit in it.”
    The man shouted back: “I’m from New York, just down here campaigning for Biden’s Presidential run. I can’t understand you. Please speak in English.”
    The rancher replied: “Use both hands.”

  7. dezzez says:

    In Chucks world, being mentioned as a chicken shit crackpot loon is somehow loving affection.

    • Octopus says:

      That’s a bald-faced lie, btw. Fimple was trashing Obama and the Idiot Left right up until the election. He was still a “racist hate-bot,” until the inauguration of Empty Suit. 😂

  8. ISTE says:

    I own one spoon and only one spoon. It is a cross between a teaspoon and a soup spoon. Last used Saturday morning to stir a cup of coffee. Left on the kitchen counter top.

    Today I made myself an awesome beef, onion, asparagus and mushroom stew. It is kind of runny so I intended to eat it this evening in the style of eating a thick chunky soup, with a spoon, along with toasted cheese sandwich.

    No spoon. I looked in all the usual places. Under the bed, in the bed, I don’t have a couch but if I did I would look behind it. Nope, my spoon was stolen.

    Oh well…. Things could be worse.

    • rightymouse says:

      Don’t flush the toilet.

      • ISTE says:

        Thank you, THANK YOU!!!!!

        I thought about you saying “Don’t flush the toilet” and I know I drink a little bit more alcohol than I should but suddenly I remembered! No way would I have eaten my spoon and lost it in the toilet.

        Saturday night I made stuffed peppers, a first for me. I made a couple of big ones, taco beef and onion and obviously because being single anything I cook there are leftovers.

        Just looked in the fridge and found the uneaten stuffed pepper and lo and behold next to it was the spoon I used to spoon back in the stuffing after they fell over in the oven and the meat escaped.

        Life is good now! And I am sorry I accused the kittens of theft. But they have a very extensive juvenile record of criminal activity.

        I feel bad that I accused them for something that, this time, was not their fault. So tonight is all you can eat Fancy Feast night!

        • rightymouse says:

          Buy more spoons from Amazon.

          • ISTE says:

            NO!!!!! more spoons means more dirty spoons. That is why I only have one dinner plate, two forks and one dinner knife. I must admit I have three vegetable cutting up knives and a pair of meat and pizza cutting scissors but the less I have the less lives in the sink.

            I also hide toilet paper.

          • Octopus says:

            You’re a disciple of Thoreau, I see. 🙂

            “Simplify, simplify, simplify. Men have become the tools of their tools.” That kind of thing.

            I have way too much stuff. I mean, we do. I would like to pare it down a great deal, but where would I even start?

          • rightymouse says:

            Get a roommate & tell him/her that you’ll reduce the rent if they clean the place & do the dishes.

          • Octopus says:

            “Must really like cats.” 😃

          • rightymouse says:

            If they’re desperate, they can get more off the rent by changing the litter boxes and feeding the furry ones.

  9. Octopus says:

    Everytime a glacier calves, Chonky shits the bed. 😦

  10. Octopus says:

    Quick Answer: No

  11. rightymouse says:

    Zing!

  12. Octopus says:

    https://mobile.twitter.com/StephenKing/status/1305876577432072194

    He’s such a libturd now, it’s horror-inducing. 😱😂

    Keep trying to talk to him, Chonky. I think he’s warming up to you. 😂

  13. Bunk X says:

  14. Bunk X says:

    I took a wade through the Swamp. Not a single mention of the Israel-Bahrain-UAE accords.

    I also just realized that Rosh Hashanah starts Friday at sundown. Nice timing.

  15. Bunk X says:

    I miss Ludwig.

    • Octopus says:

      Just think of all the “billions will die”- level hilarity we’ve missed out on, since Lewd-Wank Von Slutshamer took Lovely Miss Ssssss and wandered off to thrust his bent lance into unsuspecting windmills minding their own business in far-flung lands. 😢

  16. rightymouse says:

    Trump? LMAO! Biden is the one off his rocker! 😆

  17. Octopus says:

    https://www.gofundme.com/f/green_footballs

    In any Gofundme that’s working, there are lots of modest contributions of $5 and $10, with occasional larger amounts. In Chonky’s disastrous failed begging bowl, he’s stuck on this fanciful $60 figure for some dim reason. Why, Fatass? 😂

  18. rightymouse says:

    I love it when Donkeys believe they know how conservatives should think. 😆

  19. rightymouse says:

    One day you’ll see the light, Gussy! But right now, you’re still in the throes of your hissy fit from Hillary’s loss in 2016. Grow up.

  20. rightymouse says:

    Am out having an early dinner with BFF’s. Gorgeous day! Behave!

  21. Octopus says:

    I AM being haven!

    https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJD6Ta6f/

    Mamasita! 😃

  22. Bunk X says:

  23. Octopus says:

    Again, we see the phenomenon of Idiot Left radicals being all happy with themselves, and at peace with reality. She’s a lovely gal, eh?

  24. Octopus says:

    Later, in Philly…

    https://mobile.twitter.com/MrAndyNgo/status/1306067706437799936

    I hear:

    “Who stink?”
    “I stink.”

    That’s a confused man leading the parade, btw. Get him and his long-ass weave a shower!

    😂

  25. Koko says:

    Oh Chonky! You know it IS (almost) October before the general election.

    Creepy, gropey Grampa Biden causes a 13 yr old to freeze and try and find a happy place.

  26. Koko says:

    Don’t you feel safe? Leftist Marxists are burning down multiple cities every night and the FBI director appears to be unaware because he’s too busy looking for Nazis under his bed a la Chonky Johnson. He is so fucking fired after Trump gets reelected.

    https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2020/09/wray-claims-white-supremacists-make-largest-share-racially-motivated-terrorists-us-blm-burns-businesses-ground-video/

  27. Octopus says:

    The strongest case of projection we’ve seen yet! 😂

  28. Bunk X says:

  29. ISTE says:

    Thursday night cooking post.

    We all like enchiladas right? But they are kind of complicated. Season ground beef and cook it, also onions, green peppers and tomatoes.

    Then let the shit cool down and wrap it in flour tortillas, place in an oven proof dish and add that enchelada sauce ( I like the green one ) top with cheese and bake in the oven at 325F for a while.

    Scoop up onto a plate and serve with salsa, sour cream and more shredded cheese.

    OR…. Layer everything in a small crockpot lasagna style and slow cook for 8 hours.

    Social interactions with other humans I can’t do.

    Cooking I can!

    • ISTE says:

      It is a Mexican Lasagna cooked in a slow cooker.

      I am going to burn in hell for even attempting it.

      I do not care…..

    • ISTE says:

      I have made several attempts at Moussaka. It is a Greek dish in the style of lasagna but using lamb as the meat and sliced Aubergines ( egg plant in American )

      Too wet. The Aubergine slices need to be salted to remove their moisture for several hours then rinsed. Then pan seared for a few seconds in oil before then being used like pasta sheets in a layered dish.

      • rightymouse says:

        I eat mostly anything except for a few things and eggplant is on the never list.

        • rightymouse says:

          It’s squishy & yucky.

          • Octopus says:

            I like almost all Greek food, but moussaka is not my favorite. The eggplant is not delish.

            Give me a good pastitsio, any day!
            Pro-tip: a bit of nutmeg in the meat-mixture. That’s a family secret, so mum’s the word. Yum!

  30. Octopus says:

    This guy never heard of psych meds? 😆

    That a network would feature the ravings of such a loon, and try to pass itself off as a “news outlet,” is like Chonky trying to pass himself off as a Journalist/Athletic Trainer. Utter disconnect!

  31. rightymouse says:

    Actually, the dumbest was Obama.

  32. Octopus says:

    He wins in every arena he enters. Real estate, New York society, showbiz, trophy wives, successful children, and now the highest office in the land, wiping out foes in all competing parties, including his own. Owning the media, by by-passing its craven spinmeisters. Peace in the Middle East? Wtf, Trump? Now you’re just showing off. 😄

    Gus is a worthless drain on society. So…

  33. Octopus says:

    😂😂😂😂

    I mean…😂

  34. Octopus says:

    And the beat(down) goes on…

  35. Octopus says:

    Wow. Civil war.

  36. Octopus says:

    Come to think of it, Chonky’s reading comprehension sucks the dirty donkey dong, too. 😆

    Did he even graduate from high school?

  37. Octopus says:

    https://archive.is/XxHUf

    Grooming like crazy in Denmark! Get the kids used to seeing your gnarly old bodies, so they won’t freak when you go in for the sexytime. Genius!

  38. Pakimon says:

    Ruth Bader Ginsburg has died.

    Hysterical bleating and squealing on the ponytailed TwitterDickhead’s feed in 5..4..3..2..1 😆

  39. Octopus says:

    Fatass knows what is happening aboard Air Force One! 😂

  40. dezzez says:

    Yup, taking ones last breath of life, well of course their last words are orange man must be stopped.
    fake fake fake

    • Koko says:

      Her exact words were “Steal the election from that orange haired MOTHERFUCKER!!! Uuuhhhhhhg. .”

      • Octopus says:

        And then she pooped. Because, I have South Park in my brain. And a lot of people poo when they die, because the circular rectal muscle (sphincter) relaxes suddenly. Not my fault! Lots of us have succumbed to the juvenile humor of those nasty boys. 😆

        From the epic episode, “Something Wall-Mart This Way Comes.”

        • Octopus says:

          P.S. I’ve watched two people die from pancreatic cancer, my wife’s parents. Neither one said much of anything in their last couple of days. They were dying, you see — not concerned about anything having to do with politics.

          • rightymouse says:

            I’ve known folks who have died from pancreatic cancer too. One in particular, was close to my son. She was heavily sedated for days before death.

  41. dezzez says:

    Bernie, will you be my buddy after all the knives I put in your back, please?

    • rightymouse says:

      His begging bowl hasn’t budged a pfennig since the last time I checked.
      Little Green Footballs Fundraiser

      $10,867 raised of $20,000 goal

    • Bunk X says:

      I don’t care for the Proud Boys, but that was a brilliant move.

      • Octopus says:

        I don’t know how I feel about the Proud Boys, as I don’t follow their websites or believe anything the MSM says about them. Maybe I should take the time to read up on them, because this was brilliant. Almost as crafty as Project Veritas, another group the MSM paints as “Worse than Hitler, because Hitler had a lot of good ideas, like shutting up his critics.”

  42. Octopus says:

    The ‘Orrible ‘Ooh, who stole the show at the Rolling Stones Circus for BBC, which never aired because the Stones hated their own performance:

    Another fantastic artifact from that day’s taping, the supergroup playing John Lennon’s scream of pain, “Yer Blues.” Lennon was dealing with the breakup of the Beatles, and trying to kick heroin. The little band they slapped together for the performance, called The Dirty Mac, included:
    Rhythm guitar and vocals: John Lennon
    Lead guitar: Eric Clapton
    Bass: Keith Richards
    Drums: Mitch Mitchell

    Okay, that’s good enough. 🙂

    • Octopus says:

      The whole show is a hoot, 1968-style. I was busy obsessing about the Detroit Tigers winning the World Series, and Denny Mclain getting 31 pitching wins, to follow such frivolity. Plus, I was 9. Some of you here were older. 😉 I don’t think I even heard about this show until the late-’70’s, when the Stones finally released it.

  43. Octopus says:

    Some psycho got aholt of the masters from the Abbey Road album sessions and restored the order of the magnificent medley that ended their recording career as the original Beatles. They also chose a couple of different takes that lengthened a couple of segments. I like it, but YMMV.

    My Sirius trial period is ending soon on my new car, and they are hounding me with better offers every week to re-enlist. The thing is, all I ever listen to now is the frickin’ Beatles channel. I wake up every morning with a Beatles song going in my head, which is pretty decent, but how long can this go on? I can load up a thumb drive with their entire discography and put it on shuffle, and it would be mo’ bettah than their repeating shows and insipid fan-boy/girl blather between songs. Or Celebrity Hosting, which the other day included Alec Baldwin and Patton Oswalt, more’s the pukefest. I know more about the band than their regular DJ’s, being older and more ass-toot. I think I won’t sign up for more.

  44. rightymouse says:

    Seen at Instapundit. 🙂

  45. rightymouse says:

    Gussy’s been behind closed doors a lot lately. 😆

    Gus’s Twitterwarrior Theatre
    Error: Please make sure the Twitter account is public.

  46. Octopus says:

    A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.”

    Passenger: “Who?”

    Cabbie: “Frank Feldman. He was a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. Things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.”

    Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”

    Cabbie: “Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.”

    Passenger: “Sounds like he was something really special.”

    Cabbie: “There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. And, he never, ever forgot to put the seat down. He wasn’t like me,” he continued. “I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman could do everything right.”

    Passenger: “Wow, some guy, then.”

    Cabbie: “He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.”

    Passenger: “An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?”

    Cabbie: “Well, I never actually met Frank. He died and I made the mistake of marrying his widow.”

  47. Octopus says:

    Biden will win in a landslide, then. You have NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT!! 😄

    #Revisit this post in November.

  48. Octopus says:

    Some bad news leaking into the bubble has Chonky on edge. 😂

  49. rightymouse says:

    Trump is on Levin right now. Fabulous!

  50. rightymouse says:

    And Gussy ‘ s back on Twitter. 😆

  51. Bunk X says:

    This should be a fun thread.

  52. dezzez says:

    “I don’t like it when people point out I am a 2 faced hypocrite and a cheap opportunist”
    Just delete your account lard ass before you are the only one allowed to see your feed.

    • Octopus says:

      Chonky thinks he’s hurting somebody’s feewings when he blocks them, because he experiences life-threatening butthurt when someone (everyone) blocks his stupidity. 😂

  53. Koko says:

    The progressive mascot.