Charles Johnson, White Constitutional Lawyer & Internet Fascist, Barks Loudly.

Really, Charles? Empty-headed BS? Seems you spent an inordinate amount of time attempting to squelch the free speech of others who politely disagreed with you by labeling them racists, homophobes, nazis, etc., with absolutely no evidence to support your allegations..

Amendment I – Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

There’s a reason you’re not in charge of Constitutional Law Interpretation, Charles.

Now let’s talk about your +10 year-old “Now I Really Really Mean It” fauxvitar.

263 Comments on “Charles Johnson, White Constitutional Lawyer & Internet Fascist, Barks Loudly.”

  1. Octopus says:

    Being white and being happy about it is now a hate crime. White people, you must now hate yourselves with a white-hot fury. Chunky, your hate must burn like the sun, especially now that there’s so much more of you to hate. 😆

    • Bunk X says:

      This pretty lady has been taught to be a racist but she doesn’t know it.

      • Bunk X says:

        Watch what happens when she finds out the results. Like it means anything.

        • Octopus says:

          She’s one of these people who get by on their looks, not their smarts. It’s a legit survival strategy, but there are surprises as life tends to slap you in the face with facts on occasion.

          Hey, at least she didn’t cry about not finding that Cherokee matriarch who participated in hiking the Trail Of Tears. Maybe the damn redskin will be found on AncestryDNA. Which doesn’t job you for hundreds of dollars, btw.

        • Bunk X says:

          😀 😀 😀
          rachel e
          1 week ago (edited)
          LOL youre wearing that Boy George hat and youre mad you have european ancestors.

      • Bunk X says:

        As if anyone has control over one’s ancestry. After all, we all share the same DNA with celery.

      • Bunk X says:

        HOAX ALERT:

        Seems the vid is fake, a promo for the DNA testing company. They’re pushing vids of people discovering that their ancestry is not what they believed it to be. Here’s another in the same style:

        • Bunk X says:

          At 2:30 She drops an F-bomb at Jewish ancestry.

          • Octopus says:

            I had to show my Greek wife that one, because she found out through AncestryDNA that she had about 3% Sephardic Jew in her bloodline. Her Dad had a Jewish issue, because he was ripped off badly in business by a crooked Jewish group of swindlers who took advantage of his naivete in the cutthroat business world back in the Sixties. Later, when he was very successful, he ended up hiring a bunch of Jews because “they only deal with their own kind.” Yeah…same with the Greeks of that generation. Projection!

          • Bunk X says:

            Get farked by an Italian, you hate all Italians. Get screwed by a Jew. you hate all Jews. The Chinese rip you off, you hate all asians.

            Kenny ripped me off. Now I hate all Kentuckians.

          • Octopus says:

            I got ripped off by a Yugoslavian neighbor, a “pal” who needed a thousand bucks to pay off his court fees (minor offenses) so he could join the Navy. He got me, and I never saw him again, though I was friends with his brother AND sister for years. Got discharged from the Navy for some kind of shitassery, and moved to Texas. Still lives there. Looks like shit on Facebook, so there’s that. 😆

  2. Octopus says:

    Grasshopper Gus finds himself in dire straits once again, as the cold winds of December threaten to turn him into a bumsicle. We try to warn him every year, but nothing seems to get through the fog of Sterno and ditchweed that surrounds his semi-waking hours. Maybe next year, if he manages to survive this one.

    Soon it will be the first day of winter. Can’t wait for that to be over with. Winter is freaking death.
    4 hours ago

    There’s something shitty in this shithole house that’s irritating my throat.
    4 hours ago

    You don’t think the daily/nightly chugging and smoking might be irritating your mucous membranes, do you? Naaaah! That can’t be it. 😆

    • Octopus says:

      Note: this version of the story has a happy ending tacked on in place of the original, which depicted the grasshopper starving and freezing to death. Guess that was a little too real for the little snowflakes. 😆

    • Chunk’s taking down Trump bigly! says:

      Butt the Great AlGore has said winter has gone away, the N Pole is melted and the Polar bears are doing the back stroke. Global warmeling is a God send for drunken bums! No need for piles of dirty blankets and minor altercations with roommates over thermostat settings. Time to throw on some parachute shorts and head to the park for some hacky-sack!

      • Bunk X says:

        First time I saw a HackySack circle was in the ’80s while waiting for a fireworks show in Cincinnati. I was holding a L.I. Ice Tea when the bag hit me in the chest.
        and I didn’t spill a drop. I’d never played it before, and could never repeat the reflexive moves. There was applause.

    • rightymouse says:

  3. dezzez says:

    While it is true that websites can decide who can or cannot post.
    It is also true that in a free society, I am going to hear and read things I do not like or agree with.
    The mindset that everything Someone disagrees with is hate speech and must be silenced is textbook fascism.
    It is burn the books, kill the teachers and crush all dissent.
    People like Chuck are real quick at deciding who can say what, while wanting an impenetrable shield that protects them from doing the very things they claim to hate.

  4. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    I see more skin at the beach. And what’s with Matt Damon on every SNL show now? Is he the new Alec Baldwin? He’s not a bad actor but it’s supposed to be a comedy show. MD like AB is not funny.

    • Octopus says:

      Damon is dumb, and insanely left-wing, like Baldwin in both respects. He fits perfectly on the show these days.

      Miley is Miley, and she’s still a lot confused about things, despite cleaning up her act bigly since her Year Of Truck-Stop Hooker Shit. I still love her, despite all of that. I love her singing, anyway. She lives in a very dysfunctional world, and she’s trying to keep up the success and popularity — it’s a tough road.

      • Octopus says:

        Also, not that I’ve looked, but it’s bruited about on the internet that there are dozens of pics of Miley’s bare breasts and bum out there. I suppose a Google image search would confirm or debunk this scandalous rumor, but what kind of dirty old perv would do such a thing? It’s hard for me to imagine…maybe Woody Allen.

      • Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

        I know. I like her too. So I was a little miffed I didn’t get to see a lot of Miley skin. Dammit. I was promised topless Miley! 🙂

    • Bunk X says:

      What does SNL stand for these days? SucksNoLaughs?

  5. Minnow says:

    Barry, you are such a confused and stupid idiot. We have free speech in this country. People are allowed to make their opinions known. We do NOT have any freedoms to swing bicycle locks at other people (you know, usually from behind) and we do not have laws that allow for twelve people to ambush and beat the shit out of two people. those things are wrong.

    If only your parents had actually loved you, you would know these things and you would not be mired in your self-admiration and the associated stupidity which is your existence.

    Dumb ass.

  6. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    As if you couldn’t figure it out by the pattern Allen could never have a mature relationship with a woman. Because that would be a partnership where he can’t be worshipped and be controlling and use bully tactics. Before he even was with Mia Farrow he groomed this 16 year old girl for sex for two years. Then brought in Mia announced to the kid that Mia is his girlfriend. Nice guy. Then when Mia started looking and acting like a real woman and mom instead of that waif look of her early 20s he first tried to groom their little girl by separating her and molesting her. Then finally successfully groomed and wooed his other adopted daughter. And dumped the old lady and his whole family. God knows how many of those actresses in his movies (Mariel Hemingway, Scarlett Johansan) he was grooming and screwing. Probably most of them. Maybe even Miley Cyrus. The guy’s a real creeper. Like Weinstein, if he weren’t dangling fame and million dollar roles would women really care what other little things he’s dangling? If he’d remained just a stand up he’d probably have to resort to prostitutes and wanking off in front of Sarah Silverman like C.K. Louis.

  7. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    @realDonaldTrump “Unjustified trade retaliation!” Translation: Donnie deliberately provoked a trade war and now he……
    3 hours ago
    “Unjustified trade retaliation!” Translation: Donnie deliberately provoked a trade war and now he has to hand out……

    Um you said that twice. Renegotiating trade deals is what Presidents do. If you’re willing to give something they want then it’s not a “trade war”. Showing up late and wearing goofy outfits and bowing to everyone is what Preezydunces do. Obungle was low energy and was purely a celebrity Preezydunce bowing and putting on robes like a phag (NTTATW…etc). Ironically, our current President and former celebrity business guy rolls out of bed every morning with a real agenda and real goals working for the American people. Where he sees inequity he tries to correct it. Obungle just thought he was supposed to show up, read a speech off the teleprompter and sign off on the status quo and get some free food and booze.

    I was watching a show about the building of the Panama canal. Teddy Roosevelt wanted that canal built and was getting resistance from the Columbian gov’t. So he negotiated with the isthmus province to help them secede and gain their independence. He gave them something they wanted to get something we wanted. Trump reminds me of Teddy Roosevelt.

  8. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    It’s almost comical. They dropped interest rates to 0 through out Obungle’s reign of dumbth because baby boy Obungle could barely spell economy. Waiting it out and probably knowing there’s no way a Repub is not getting in after this dork had no plan and actually had the audacity to tell Americans it’s never coming back. Your kids are going to be barmaids and dishwashers. Get over it. We’ll decide who succeeds by doling out gubmint jobs. Then when Trump comes in and immediately turns the economy around the Fed is desperate to get back to some normalcy. It’s supposed to be in response to inflation of which there is none but they want to raise rates every quarter now because they’re so far out of whack and we’re so deep in debt.

  9. Octopus says:

    Tweets something crazy to prove he’s not crazy…

    “Oohh, we’ve got him nailed this time! For what? I don’t know, but it’s got to be something really, really bad.”

  10. Octopus says:

    Drafty in there, eh? Maybe some more visqueen will do the trick. Try the nearest construction site, after it gets dark.

    I was going to make a joke here about spiking it with something, but then the vision of squalid poverty made me too sad. This guy is about one pneumonia bug away from dying alone, with his last tweet being, “Tell my bitch sister thanks for nothing.” 😦

    • Bunk X says:

      I don’t wish illness on El Gusano. He’s got enough problems.

      • Octopus says:

        I don’t, either. I’ve had friends drink and drug themselves to death, though, and he seems to be going down the same sad path.

        • Bunk X says:

          El Gusano still has brothers and sisters who can help him out unless they’re just as spiteful and selfish as Gus is. Even burned bridges can be rebuilt.
          C’mon, Gus. Set up a GFMP and maybe we’ll donate a couple of BTUHs.

  11. Octopus says:

    Alec Baldwin is doing about as well as Pete Davidson. And Chunky. Trump-bashing really pays dividends!

  12. Octopus says:

    But isn’t Trump on his way to the pokey by now? You’ve been trumpeting his imminent arrest since the election, pretty much. Surely the Mueller investigation has turned up something that will end this administration once and for all. Right?

  13. KGB says:

    Any of you ever heard of this “Desmond Is Amazing” kid? I’ve seen a couple stories/videos on this kid recently. He’s 10 years old and has been a drag queen for a few years. He also acts flamingly gay. Naturally, the left/alphabet soup crowd has made a hero out of this disturbed child. So the other night, he’s brought in to an NYC gay bar at night and allowed to prance around on stage while having dollar bills tossed at him. If you don’t think he’s being groomed and/or hasn’t already been molested you’re in a sad state of denial. But just remember, you bigot, all they want is tolerance. Now, we all know that heterosexuals are just as capable of taking advantage of children, but they’re never given the politically-correct cover that homosexuals are. If a strip club had a 10 year old girl come in late and night and do this, it would be front page news.

    • Octopus says:

      So gross and wrong. This boy’s story will not end well.

      • rightymouse says:

        I couldn’t watch the whole thing. The parents need to be spanked!!

        • Octopus says:

          They’d enjoy it.

        • Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

          I didn’t watch it but just reading KGB’s description how is it Child Services isn’t becoming alarmed at this 10 yr old kid in an overly sexualized environment?

          • Octopus says:

            Pushed into the whole sordid deal by his sick mother. Quelle surprise!

  14. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    It’s really becoming sad. De Niro continues to rage against the President but seemingly has no specific complaint other than he simply can’t stand him. In fact, it appears his main complaint is that Trump is brash and abrasive as De Niro is himself! Almost like he takes offense that someone’s stealing his act and using it in real life. LOL! Total dipshit twerp. Naive too. It’s no secret Shrillery is an abusive ass when camera’s aren’t around. And Bubba knocked Dick Morris down one time in anger.

    • Octopus says:

      I remember a long time ago reading an interview with one of DeNiro’s co-stars, where the guy was informing the interviewer that Bobby’s not as smart and talented as the critics of the time kept blabbering about. I wish I could remember who it was, but they clearly had beef about something. Anyway, the guy made comments along the line of, “Bobby can deliver the lines he’s handed, but without a script, he’s pretty dumb and not a nice person.” Everything I’ve learned about his life since, including some putrid performances in shitty movies, a messed-up love life, and of course his idiotic ranting about Trump, tends to support this impression.

  15. Octopus says:

    This is so great! 😂😂

    That fart spray is like death, btw. A prankster cleared a room with it in an office building around here, and it made the news. The quotes were a scream. Literally.

    • rightymouse says:

      That’s hilarious! 😆

    • Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

      It is surprising how many people can’t resist other people’s things. As they say, character is defined by what you do when no one is looking.

      • Chunk’s taking down Trump bigly! says:

        I remember reading a few years ago they tried an experiment dropping a $20 bill in a Japanese mall and couldn’t find anyone to just take the money. They all kept walking around asking people if they’d lost this money. LOL! 😇. Gotta love that.

        • Octopus says:

          On the other hand, Rape Of Nanjing. And cannibalizing POW’s during WWII.

          They are a complex stew, these Japs. 😉

          • Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

            I agree. They were vicious and brutal when the Nipponese ruled. Afterward when the Americans earned their trust they seemed to default to a natural position of kindness and honor.

          • rightymouse says:

            My Dad was in one of those Jap camps in China. He never liked to talk about it, but he did talk about Chinese prisoners used as bayonet practice.

  16. rightymouse says:

    Go take some cough medicine, Gussy.

  17. rightymouse says:

    By now, folks probably know that Penny Marshall has passed away. I loved ‘A League of Their Own’. She did a great job directing. Her politics were Lefty & her ex was Meathead Reiner, but I got to give credit where credit is due.

  18. Octopus says:

    Bwahahahah!! That’s so hilarious. 😐

  19. Octopus says:

    You would too, if you could find your wee-wee under that gross pannus.

    • Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

      My how they become all prudish and judgmental when they go commie. Besides Chunkles doesn’t need porn what with all those chicks he meets who are into his signature flannel shirt, black tee and pony tail look.

      • Octopus says:

        Obviously he’s scoring like Gretzky with the ladies, and maybe a few Antifa guys, too. Who can resist a roly-poly old man with a ponytail? SPLOOSH! 😆

  20. Octopus says:

    You’re so stoned! 😵

    • Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

      So…I guess I’m in that minority that doesn’t know what this means. Does it mean Sponge Bob Squarepants could have beaten Hitlery Rotten Klingon?

  21. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    The show had some good players. Michael McKean as the obnoxious Leonard “Lenny” Kosnowski with pal Squiggy. Also of This Is Spinal Tap and later Better Call Saul fame and a zillion other acting roles.

    • KGB says:

      He was great as Gibby, Martin’s Australian boss, on Dream On. His Australian accent was as good as the English one he affected in Spinal Tap.

  22. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    Good news for the world!! Elon Musk has now invented tunnels.

    I love how he calls it “The Boring Company”. Get it? Do you get it? He made a pun. Only geniuses can do that.

    I have an even better idea for what I call “Transfer Booths”. Where you step onto a pad which molecularizes your body and then faxes it to a different pad in a different city. No cars needed. I just need some funding from the gubmint/taxpayers. I figure about a trillion should do it. And hey, I’m eliminating cars and reducing CO2 too! Also. In addition. Er subtraction.

    • Octopus says:

      I guess the “quick cash infusion” from the lousy flamethrowers the same boring company was selling didn’t quite make the nut. So…tunnels it is. Underground in a state where the ground shifts and collapses on the reg. Ooh, that’s a surefire hit! 😆

  23. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    I’m not sure I agree with this assessment. In a way it’s a compliment to Trump for recovering and expanding the economy. The debt needs to get paid. The market’s been in bubble territory for years. All through the Obungle years. We’re not even in real correction territory and probably won’t be. Year end is when all the fund managers lock in their profits. I’m guessing a lot of buying after the first of the year. My company’s profit sharing goes in mid-January. We NEVER get the good dip. If we did this year I would be ecstatic.

  24. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    Gee thanks for that Alan. The man who gave us “irrational exuberance”.

    He added that markets could still go up further — but warned investors that the correction would be painful: “At the end of that run, run for cover.”

    Translation: I’m a very old man who has no fucking idea what’s going to happen. But I like the attention!

    • Octopus says:

      Greenspan has about as much of a handle on the market as Jim Hansen has on the Global Warmening, yet both are listened to by fools as if they’re gods from some mountain-top. What happened to all that doomstruck guff the stock market “wizards” were threatening us with if, God Forbid, Trump got elected President?

  25. Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

    Well that sounds absolutely neato. But did anyone ask for a roll up TV? Mine’s been sitting in the same place for years now. I’ve had no need to roll it up.

    • Octopus says:

      Right! A TV sits up against a wall, or hangs on a wall, and there’s no need to roll it up. Why do you need that extra space, and what are you gonna use it for? Growing your weed plants?

      A brilliant solution in search of a problem. Where’s my goddamn jet-pack, slackers?!

  26. Bunk X says:

    I hate this genre, but this guy is good at it.

  27. Octopus says:

    Speaking of “careful what you wish for,” this Poor Dear is missing a lot of yoga sessions and face-masks at the spa while waiting to BEGIN working in Washington. Oh, the pressure and stress! 😆

  28. Octopus says:

    Another quote ripped from the only book Fatass ever read, slightly bastardized:

    “When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.”
    — Hunter Thompson

    • Chunk is stuck on the couch and can't get up! says:

      Yeah that’s so un-witty it’s offensive. HST was making a play on: When the going gets tough, the tough get going. His take was mildly witty in a counter culture contextual way. Plus HST was a big football fan which is where the quote is from (I forget who). Chunky is just a fan of himself and wants everyone to applaud his lazy, witless attempts and award him leader of the hip kid parade. Which is never going to happen.

    • Pakimon says:

      How about: When Chunkles gets butthurt, the butthurt eat Cheetos.

  29. Octopus says:

    Just heard this on radio — saddest version ever?

  30. Octopus says:

    He’s a cowardly scumbag, and now he’s outed.

    Check out @sabokitty

    • rightymouse says:

      Good Lord. 😯

      “I was raised in a Marxist-Leninist-Maoist family that understands intersectionality,” he said at Left Forum 2015. “

      Do you understand genocide? Asshole.

    • rightymouse says:

      You’re right. He’s a cowardly scumbag.

      ‘This account’s Tweets are protected.
      Only confirmed followers have access to @sabokitty’s Tweets and complete profile. Click the “Follow” button to send a follow request.’

  31. Octopus says:

    That’s my era, alright. Looking good!

    • Bunk X says:

      Elephant bells, and the girl with the books has white eyeshadow under her plucked (painted?) eyebrows. Yep. I remember.

      • Octopus says:

        Oreos and milk, too. I wish the pic was in color.

        • Bunk X says:

          We didn’t do Oreos and milk back then. The girls we hung out with had cans of Stroh’s.

          • Bunk X says:

            And the girls who hung out with us knew where the Stroh’s came from.

          • Octopus says:

            The Stroh’s came from Detroit. 🙂

            The cookies and milk often came after teh evil weed had produced the munchies. You could get a decent bag of Mexican weed for ten bucks then, with good stuff like “Colombian Gold” going for $40 or so.

          • Octopus says:

            Yes, she has Oreos in her teeth. So what?

            I’ve eaten so many cookies and other Christmas treats in the past week, at home and at work, I could barely button my pants today. Either we get up and run tomorrow, with five more parties to attend in the next six days, or we just go to the sweatpants look. I got rid of all my old pants with the “comfort-waist” elastic extensions, several years back. Time to get back on the program…next week. 😉

  32. Bunk X says:

    Just a few minutes to go.

  33. Octopus says:

    Love this corny number!

    • Octopus says:

      I wouldn’t mind keeping a small herd of alpacas on my little retirement ranch, someday. Some of those miniature goats, too. A few peacocks. A quirky old ranch foreman named Shorty Gooch, retired from the Barnum & Bailey Circus, who can fix anything made before 1985. Grow some cannabis and brewing hops for sale and personal use. Have a couple of local cops on the pad, and willing to smooth things over with anyone who objects to our ranch’s mission statement.

  34. Octopus says:

    Happy Socialist Christmas!

    Isn’t it odd the way you never hear Chavez’ Hollywood pals singing the praises of Venezuela’s Socialist Revolucion anymore? What happened, Sean Penn, Oliver Stone and Michael Moore? Cat got your tongues?

  35. Octopus says:

    Remember when Fatass made fun of people for 8 years for getting their Fake News from Jon Stewart on Comedy Central?

  36. Octopus says:

    The 64-year-old pony-tailed pachyderm is doling out the hair-don’ts? Hmm…sensing yet another disconnect. Somebody call an electrician. Or the men in white coats. 😆

  37. Octopus says:

    Get that loony goldfish off the national stage, and back in the circus sideshow where she belongs.

    • Bunk X says:

      That’s some huge left leg.

      • Bunk X says:

        with a bigass caboose connecting it to the other.

        • Bunk X says:

          and a big wide spacer in between them

          • Bunk X says:

            that is too large for anyone to accommodate.

          • Octopus says:

            The Idiot Left was going gaga over those thigh-high boots yesterday. I think they’re right, in calling them “the single greatest accomplishment of the Obama presidency.” 😆

          • rightymouse says:

            And too many people don’t believe in aliens! 😯
            Those boots and dress are positively extra-terrestrial! 😯

          • Octopus says:

            Whenever I try to put a definition on Moochelle’s fashion sense and overall appearance, the word “ungainly” comes to mind. Mind you, I love a hot black girl who knows how to accentuate her stuff. Rihanna comes to mind. Lisa Bonet. This girl I used to share an office with for a few years, named Robyn. HAWT!!1!

            Moochelle looks like a cross between a cow and a piranha.

  38. Octopus says:

    I’m sure your only British friend, Iceweasel, is really putting her back into reversing Brexit, the will of the majority of Brits. That is, when she’s not on her back entertaining customers, few as they are these days. Even the bestiality fans don’t want to see her with a donkey these days. 😦

  39. swamprat says:

    Didn’t people used to get banned for saying stuff like

    “ISIS” is just a name for the latest, most virulent outcropping of a strain of radical fundamentalist Islam. Just a name. The real problem is an ideology.
    4:05 PM – 19 Dec 2018

    Holy smokes!

    • Bunk X says:

      “The Orange Jackass.” Heh.
      He meant “Jumpsuit.”

      • Octopus says:

        I thought he was referring to his old Tijuana partner, the massively-hung donkey with the Cheetos stains from their weekly trysts. I know he was banned for being too morbidly obese, with the new emphasis on avoiding injury to these noble creatures, but I’m sure he and his back door still have some warm memories of those sultry evenings on the border.

  40. Bunk X says:

    Hey, Charles! I’m going to be at Pastina’s in Westwood tomorrow for photo ops. Show up and I’ll buy you lunch. 1PM.
    Oh wait. I forgot you don’t read here.

    • Octopus says:

      Free lunch, Chunky! Please please please show up and speak your brilliant mind, while gobbling your Linguini Alfredo with extra artisanal cheese sauce. Did I mention it was FREE?!

  41. dezzez says:

    “Bring our troops home”
    Okay, I am bringing our troops home!
    “You sick bastard, I dare you bring our troops home”
    Good old Nancy Nuance is trying to park his morbidly obese ass on both sides of the fence.
    Kiss that Charles P. Pierce ass Chuck, it’s bound to improve the breath from your festering pie hole.

    • Octopus says:

      The Idiot Left was more flummoxed by this announcement than anything they’ve seen from Trump in…the last week or so. 😆

      I love Teh Donald gets in their tiny little heads, and plays his one-man-band outfit/instrument. So satisfying!

    • rightymouse says:

      Yep. Am in my 60’s. 😆

      • Octopus says:

        I’ll be there in a couple of weeks (February 13). Crazy! But, as they say, consider the alternative, of which I am still pretty uncertain — might be awesome, might be horrible, might be nothingness. Might be a brief respite, and then back into the reincarnation pool, which is probably full of pee from all the unenlighted bebbies.

        • rightymouse says:

          I will say that I am more concerned about maintaining health & having things lined up to take care of life/home/family should bad things happen. In the meantime, am going to shower my family with love & food over the holidays. 🙂

          • Octopus says:

            Me, too! My elder daughter with the Northern Ireland reprobate fiancé had us over for dinner tonight, to show off their remodeled house with its first Christmas decorations and so forth. So proud I am, and those people can cook.

            About five more parties to go, and then we adopt an ascetic lifestyle. If we survive the holiday gauntlet. 🥳

      • Bunk X says:

        I promise I won’t pee in your pants no matter how old I am.

        • Octopus says:

          Thanks, bro. That’s reassuring.

        • rightymouse says:

          I have a sign in one of the bathrooms – “I aim to please. You aim too, please!”.

          • Octopus says:

            Here’s how great a hubby I am: I took over the cleaning of bathrooms in our house when we decided not to replace the housekeeper who retired. She Who Will Be Obeyed took over the rest of the house, except the basement, and I also took over the outside stuff like dog-poo and trimming the bushes — we hired a kid to cut the grass, which was something I always hated doing.

            As the only male in the house, I take pretty good aim, unless I’m sleeping. I have awakened in front of the porcelain with the realization I was missing the water a few times, and hitting something else. I have a system of cleaning this “problem area” in the bathroom that works, which I cannot reveal to females, lest they call me out on social media and stop washing the towels. 😉

            This evening I had a lovely chat with my nephew’s wife, who is pregnant with their first child. All I could think of, as she basked in the glow of impending sacred motherhood, was how difficult an adjustment having kids was to my wife and I after seven years of blissful unsullied married life with no kids, which followed four years of dating and having lots of fun finishing school and going out at night with friends. “Get some rest!” That’s what I wanted to tell her, even though I know you can’t bank that sleep. I refrained from saying anything negative about parenthood, because I remember I used to hate that stuff. We agree, the wife and I, it was the best decision of our lives to have kids and throw ourselves into it wholeheartedly. We went through some challenges, believe me. The kids that are being born now? Oy vey — they’re going to see some shit. Terminator robots will be the least of their problems. 😉

          • rightymouse says:

            When we moved into our forever home 15 years ago, I told hubby I was DONE cleaning up after others in the house, especially since I had a job & was getting older. We live near Amish country. They are the BEST house-cleaners! Also honest. Don’t have to worry about things disappearing. 🙂

          • Octopus says:

            My oldest sister, the sainted one who helped my mother deal with nine kids, had a housekeeper in her early married years when she was supporting the family with her nursing job while her first hubby conned people and got the IRS on their asses, who took the title literally and kept pieces of the house every time she visited. Silverware, jewelry and whatever. They had to let that one go. A few months later when the IRS came calling, she also found out the con-job hubby who played guitar in the local Catholic church folk mass band was banging one of the other folkies. She let that hubby go, and found a good guy. You win some, you lose some forks along the way.

          • Bunk X says:

            If I have to sit down, you have to stand up.

  42. rightymouse says:

    Justice Ginsburg has cancerous nodules removed from a lung. She needs to resign from the court so Trump can name her successor. 🙂

  43. rightymouse says:

    Hubby will be off conducting tonight. I will don my sparklies tomorrow to join friends & family & watch him wave his baton around & make music at yet another event. 😆 ‘Tis the season!!!

  44. Bunk X says:

    Hoax alert up top.

  45. dezzez says:

    And semi-fully automatic leg removing chainsaw bayonets with even more cowbell.

    Nice hyperbole fat Nancy.

  46. rightymouse says:


  47. Octopus says:

    And yet…and yet…EVERY politician on BOTH sides of the aisle has stated the same thing, in the Before-Time, the Long, Long Ago. Now it’s totally deranged. 🧐🤪🤡

  48. Octopus says:

    Bingo! Stray off the groupthink plantation, and your ass is as the very grass.

    You’re on thin ice, man.

  49. rightymouse says:

    Is it just me, or is Drudge going wonky?

    • Octopus says:

      Drudge is not a dependable or consistent source, though he gets most of the gist correct. He’s a news aggregator, which is a particular kind of gator that knows how to climb fences and swim in above-ground pools, and occasionally eats a dog or kid left out at night in Florida.

  50. rightymouse says:

    If you haven’t read this already, I recommend doing so. Apparently, Mattis was a Hillary supporter.

    • Octopus says:

      For Poop’s sake. I mean, really. Mad Dog supported Shrillary?

      Trump is beset on all sides by mad dogs and shrill yapping chihuahuas. It’s a wonder he gets anything done.

    • rightymouse says:

      I’ve seen her before! She’s looking for sperm donors!! The more the merrier! 😆

      • Octopus says:

        Sperm donors, you say? Hmm… 😆

        • Octopus says:

          Watched her again. Still think she’s a keeper, especially if you need someone to guard the house (she has a smooth, deceptive fighting style) or punch out a rude neighbor. She could help me with my dance moves, too. And put me to sleep, especially if I had all the important papers locked in a safe she knows nothing about. You wouldn’t let her know about any life insurance, for sure. Nothing money-related.

          “What happened to this poor old man?”
          “Waal, it looks like his poor old heart gave out. And there are friction marks on his poor old penis.”
          “Where is his young girlfriend, pray tell?”
          “Not in church, I’m pretty sure. Not a big pray-er. More of a do-er.”

  51. ISTE says:

    Was talking to a friend today about junk emails and how annoying they are.

    Well, have you ever had any that say “would you like a bigger penis”

    My ex wife always replied to any of those she received. She replied with just two words.

  52. Octopus says:

    Did I tell you guys about the thing that happened recently here in my Asian-overcome school system, where the father was worried about his child being bullied for having the name, “Dong,” so he changed the family name to “Wang?” This really happened, and apparently the teasing stopped, so who am I to snicker? A bad person, is who. 😆

    That reminds me of Anita Hill and Clarence Thomas, again. Remember “Long Dong Silver?” Remember, “Who has put pubic hair on my Coke?” Yeah, those were different, more-innocent times. 😆

  53. Octopus says:

    One of the greatest shows of strength by this great president is how he allows his puerile critics to come after him on Twitter. Fatass McDumbth is too stupid to see the irony here, but of course he’s for blocking/banning all who disagree with the Commie/Libturd line immediately, if not sooner. 😆

  54. rightymouse says:

    Go get ’em, Gussy!! 😆

    • rightymouse says:

      Son is home! Yayyyy! 🙂

      • Octopus says:


        We’re going to younger girl’s apartment soon for Henry The Courageous Dachshund’s first birthday party. I know…they’re crazy. Don’t know where they got it from. 😆

        • rightymouse says:

          Made potato, leek,cheese & bacon soup with rib-eye steak & sauteed broccolini.

          • Octopus says:

            Awesome. We had spaghetti with meatballs, Texas Toast garlic bread, and ramikins of some kind of chocolate chip cookie, ice cream, fudge sauce and peanuts. I left the kid’s apartment stuffed like Chunky McDumbth crawling out of an all-you-can-eat buffet gastrotourista hog-trough.

            We watched a couple of “The Office” Christmas specials, and then came home to watch a couple more episodes of “Ozark,” which is a very binge-worthy show — not sure if I’ve talked about it here. Almost done with season one, and then there’s season two in the hopper, with season three not to be released for awhile. Took a couple of episodes to heat up, but I like where it’s going so far, and the character development is great. Not as great as a “Breaking Bad” or “Sopranos,” but very close in terms of family drama balanced with dark humor and evildoers. Jason Bateman is the biggest name here, and he’s doing his best work ever, but there are lots of other actors with great parts. Here’s hoping the goodness and badness continue apace.

    • Bunk X says:

      So, Gus, what kind of gimp were you?

  55. dezzez says:

    Two of the biggest smear merchants and trolls on the internet pissing and moaning about people telling the truth about them is some funny shit.

    • Octopus says:

      OMG, the whining and pissing! 😆

      These are old white men, with a lifetime of white privilege behind them, bitching about how badly they’ve been treated by Teh Shitstem. How do they not perceive the hilarity? 😆 (never mind the irony)

      Cue the chicken-peck guitar solo, with three notes and the truth. On the other hand, scratch that. Cue the chicken drop! 😆

      • Bunk X says:

        Birdman and I had tix to see The Beat Farmers, found a pre-concert bar, asked the guys at an adjacent table about the warmup band. “You’re gonna love ’em,” was the response.
        We traded shots and beers with Mojo and Skid & the band without knowing who they were.

        • Octopus says:

          You’re a lucky man. I only rubbed elbows with The Romantics in a bar, about the same time their biggest song hit, “What I Like About You.” They were all high as kites on cocaine and booze, and their show was just okay, in the infamous Token Lounge in Livonia. Loudest bar anyone’s ever heard or seen, and they got all the Detroit bands on the way up or down.

          That Mojo and Skid cassette was another one I wore out in my car. Had the Debbie Gibson song on it, too…if only there was a way I could find that song, so I could post it here…

    • Bunk X says:

      Yeah, right, Charles. You were referenced many times in mass assassin Anders Breivik’s “Manifesto,” and Glenn Greenwald spotted it. You viciously and dishonestly smeared others who had no involvement with the Oslo shootings, and you did so within hours of the slaughter.

  56. Briarius says:

    Fresh Air upstairs.

  57. Octopus says:

    I’d be hesitant to tell my wife I even KNEW a girl who was going in for a boob-job. Some things, you just don’t want to discuss, or plant the seeds for later discussion during a cranky time. I learned that a long time ago when I foolishly thought discussing my earlier romantic travails with me new Greek honey would cause her to think of me as honest and forthcoming, rather than a man-hoor. 😆

    What’s past is past, and doesn’t need rehashing. Don’t talk about other women, you pathetic ape. Not even the one who looks like Coco Ice-Tea, and just broke up with her fourth hubby. Especially not her!

  58. Octopus says:

    “Why does jazz suck so hard, Papa?”

    “It just does, son. It hurts the ears, by trying to teach them instead of just being fun. Eat your vegetable medley. Tomorrow is Pop Music Night, so we can jig around the trailer a little, as long as we don’t wake your mother. She’s on the graveyard shift again.”

    • Bunk X says:

      Okay, I didn’t click, tried to guess first.
      Stan Kenton’s “The Peanut Vendor.”
      Dave Brubeck’s “Take Five.”
      Frank Zappa’s “Inca Roads.”
      The Original Dixieland Jazz Band’s “Tiger Rag.”

      • Bunk X says:

        Okay, I ciicked. Wasn’t thinking at all about John Coltrane. He, Miles Davis, Dizzy Gillespie Thelonious Monk and others were all playing calculus. It can sound nice, but you can’t whistle the melody or dance to it.

        Gimme King Oliver, Kid Ory, Satchmo and Meade Lux Lewis instead.