News Aggregator Charles Johnson finds nothing and posts about it.

With everything that’s going on in the news lately, Johnson always manages to find nothing and then post about it. Amazing.

216 Comments on “News Aggregator Charles Johnson finds nothing and posts about it.”

  1. Octopus says:

    Meanwhile, other people find something interesting to talk about nearly every day. Like this guy, who has been on a serious roll. I never thought I’d be watching someone affiliated with Prison Planet everyday, but Paul is killin’ it. 😆

    Hurricanes are a terrifying fact of nature, and this country had been spared from serious devastation for the longest stretch of time since they started keeping track, prior to Harvey’s big dump on Texas. Historically, we were way overdue. Now it’s apparently Florida’s turn, and the Left is braying that this is karma for the state’s racist/Nazi decision to go Republican in the last election (by a small margin). Between these idjits, and the ones who are cerebrating hard about Global Climate Chaos OMFG!, there’s a perfect storm of dumbth that might be measurable on NASA radar if they calibrated their instruments properly.

  2. Octopus says:

    The hysterical meltdown of the Left continues in full swing, and there is no better chronicle of the tantrum than Twitter. They really open up the little doors in their foreheads, to let the cuckoo come out and speak their truth.

    Cher is all about it — thanks for the tip, ‘Mouse. 🙂


  3. Octopus says:

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH….help me. I can’t breathe. 😆

  4. Octopus says:

    Equifax. Must die. Make it so.
    3 hours ago
    Equifax should die.
    3 hours ago

    Gus is incensed about the Equifax leak. What if somebody assumes his identity, and ruins his credit score? 😆

  5. Octopus says:

    NSFW, but awesome. Rock is running for office on the RethugliKKKan ticket soon. Life comes at you fast. 😆

  6. Arachne says:

    Paki – if you’re here — Sunday’s NFL column at the Mother Ship gives you and Daedalus a shout-out for being in Irma’s path.

    • Octopus says:

      Irma looks like she’s going straight up the Florida peninsula, right now. What a craptacle this is going to be. Stay safe, guys!

    • Pakimon says:

      Thanks for the shout-out. Fully loaded with supplies and ready to hunker down.

      Weather and internet permitting, I’ll be submitting a “Pakimog opening weekend NFL floozy commentary” tomorrow morning. 😀

  7. TreBob says:

    This made me laugh out loud:

  8. Minnowredux says:

    Hillary who?

  9. Arachne says:

    By the way, NoFuckChuck, next time you and the rest of the braindead SJW asshats want to talk about what a White Supremacist/Racist/Bigot Donald Trump is, I suggest you do some research into his acquisition of Mar-a-Lago and the golf course in Palm Beach. A golf club, I would point out, that he went ten rounds with the local government over when it was announced that unlike the OTHER golf courses in Palm Beach, Trump intended to throw membership open to Blacks, and Jews. He took enemy fire for that one.

    But he prevailed in the end.

    Now you can go back to sounding like the assholes you are.

    • Octopus says:

      Arachne, you bring up a good point: EVERY accusation of racism or bigotry leveled at Trump by the Left since he announced his run for President, is totally eclipsed by far worse ACTUAL racist bigotry perpetrated by Democrats in the current era. Trump is a very fair man, racially speaking, and his history supports that completely. Compare his campaign staff to Obama’s or Shrillary’s, and his comes out just a shade duskier. I’ve seen several photos, of different years, and this is the truth.

  10. Bunk X says:

    Heh. Charles retweeted this.

  11. rightymouse says:

    Irma is looking scary! Paki and Daedalus need to stay safe even if it means getting out of harm’s way!

    • Bunk X says:

      Rodan’s folks are down there, too.

      • rightymouse says:

        My boss is down there too. Have had several phone calls to him pleading for safety. Man is impossible!

    • Pakimon says:

      Irma’s track keeps bumping westward which is good news for Miami, Palm Beach and Jacksonville.

      However, Irma is so huge, hurricane and strong tropical storm force winds extend way out from the center.

      The good news for me in Jacksonville (at least for now) is I won’t have to deal with 70 to 100 mph winds. It’ll be more like 40 to 60 mph.

      The bad news is we’re going to get slammed with flooding rains. (10 to 12 inches)

      But I’ve got my waders ready along with pointy sticks to fend off the gators that like to come out of the swamp marsh next door to me during heavy floods. 😀

      • Pakimon says:

        It looks like the Tampa area is going to take a direct hit so I hope Daedalus has the hatches battened down and loaded up with supplies.

  12. Octopus says:

    I hear they’re talking to Bill Clinton. 😆

  13. Bunk X says:

    • Octopus says:

      Not bad. I will never let go of the original CCR version, though. I recall hearing it in a donut shop after hockey practice at the Detroit Skating Club, around 8 am, in 1970. I was sitting there with my Dad, eating my donut, and this new song was blowing us both away. One of the few songs we both heard and felt right away. Maybe the only one.

  14. Octopus says:

    But I’m having some trouble.
    1 hour ago
    Tonight, I’m really trying to convince myself that the US is going to come back to its senses and continue working toward a better future.
    1 hour ago

    You’re having more than just some trouble, Fatass. You’re a hopeless idiot. 😆

    • !!!Trump is Teh Satan! Hit Theo lose tip!! jar! says:

      Nice rendition of an old favorite. I like this backyard project. It’s something to do with 100 million dollars Disney idiotically paid you. Make some nice music!

  15. dezes157 says:

    That is some funny shit right there Chuck, you finally made a good joke.

    • Bunk X says:

      Like the one known as “anonymous” that keeps tapping into your PayPal account?

      • Pakimon says:

        The good news for The Jazzy Ponytail of Corpulence is the money those “fraudulent charges” seem to always end up in his gofundme account. 😆

    • dudebro says:

      I had to read that tweet thread to see if numbnuts was actually serious about using their service. He is! And he has the audacity to call anybody else stupid on the internet.

      • dezes157 says:

        It is a safe bet is using this as an excuse to bilk a few morons out of a few bucks, look for the victim card followed by please hit my 3 begging bowls.

  16. windbag says:

    Oh, and the Jason Isbell Tiny Desk Concert sucks. He can’t even recommend decent music anymore.

  17. Pakimon says:

    Gus after an angry landlord confiscation?

    Good thing he had a spare. 😆

  18. rightymouse says:

    Fatso is a fat jerk.

    • Minnowredux says:

      Charles descends to a new, all time low……

      If this single tweet doesn’t sum up Charles F. Johnson perfectly, then nothing else does:

      1) Ignorant as hell
      2) Bitter and angry
      3) Arrogant and offensive
      4) Hateful
      5) Spiteful
      6) Negative
      7) Extremely stupid
      8) Pathetic

      Is THIS all you have? Is THIS the best you can do?

      No need to answer dimwit…. I already know the answer.

      Charles views himself as SO together, SO hip, SO edgy, SO accomplished…. that he can make lame, spiteful personal attacks against the President of United States – – a man who has dedicated his life as President to helping people and to improving things in this country.

      So…. a grotesquely fat, uneducated, unaccomplished, insecure simpleton spews hate like a seven year old girl toward a highly educated, successful and good-natured champion. Wow Charles, you are SO impressive with your “mad skills”…..

      Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. What a turd.

    • Bunk X says:

      Pandering has to do with prostitution. It equates to pimping.

  19. rightymouse says:

    Calling Paki!
    How do things look for Sarasota county? Bossman is down there.

  20. Octopus says:

    Eric Bolling gets fired, disgraced and loses his son. If I was a praying person, I would pray for him. Can’t wait to see Chunky’s sympathetic take on this horrible turn.

    I’m not defending the sending of junk pics to female colleagues, or anyone else for that matter, but I understand it’s a very common thing nowadays. A form of foreplay the kids find funny and semi-expected. Yes, I said “semi.” You wouldn’t want to send a non-semi-erect dick pic, would you?

  21. Octopus says:

    The Left owns all the social media, and they enforce their beliefs at every turn. Don’t ever think you can express conservative values on these platforms. You can get away with it until you’re noticed, then they shut you right down. You don’t think kids need to be taught butt stuff? You are banned!

  22. Octopus says:

    Chunky and Joy, supported by Garage Boy, are outraged at the criticism being levelled at Shrillary on her absurd book tour. They just don’t understand how deeply disliked this harpy is, by people on both sides of the aisle. I mean, Sanders is a kooky Socialist, and it’s humiliating that she would have lost to him in the primaries if the DNC hadn’t intervened on her behalf, but it comes back to how much people just don’t want her around. A lot of people voted for Trump, just to keep her away from the reins of power.

  23. !!!Trump is Teh Satan! Hit Theo lose tip!! jar! says:

    He’s what the British call a tosser. AKA a wanker

  24. !!!Trump is Teh Satan! Hit Theo lose tip!! jar! says:

    And don’t get me started on those damn salads.

  25. Bunk X says:

    Just got word from Daedalus. His townhouse is boarded up, he’s at his parents’ house. Says they’re on high land (good) so they’re not worried about flooding, and the house has storm shutters (not good enough). I axed him to keep me posted.

  26. dezes157 says:

    According to Chuck, reporting criminal activity is fascism.

    • Minnowredux says:

      -wait a minute…. a month ago, it was naughty to be a RACIST. Now, it is naughty to be a FACIST??

      Wow, Charles, you are such a big boy and learning SO MANY new words!!!

      And, oh yeah, go fuck yourself while you are at it!!!



  27. Octopus says:

    I’m prolly going to stay up all night watching the hurricane. I can’t turn it off. I guess we need some musical accompaniment.

  28. Octopus says:

    We interrupt this rainy evening for a joyeux celebration! 😆

    Do enjoy Coach Meyer’s facial paralysis as he watches his team implode in the second half. 😆

    • Octopus says:

      Note: College football is brutal at the higher levels, and it’s rare for teams to go undefeated. I know My Wolverines are going to get spanked at some point this season, and it wouldn’t surprise me a bit if it was the Buckeyes who laid the lumber on us. I don’t expect we’ll be undefeated, going into our hoary traditional last conference game showdown.


      You have to acknowledge and appreciate your good days, or why bother keeping track?

      • rightymouse says:

        We were out last night but son (who came home for a brief visit) watched the Buckeyes game and was NOT happy when we got home.

    • Pakimon says:

      Been waiting awhile to lay this on Coach Meyer. 😀

  29. dezes157 says:

    The village idiot displays his complete lack of self reflection again.

  30. !!!Trump is Teh Satan! Hit Theo lose tip!! jar! says:

    Flying to Africa (pronounced Afriker)

  31. Pakimon says:

    It a windy and rainy Sunday morning as Pakimog hunker down and wait for Irma to swing by Jacksonville and pay a visit.

    It also opening weekend of NFL football so time to get to it!

    Today, Pakimog’s Jaguars travel west to battle the Texas Houstons in division showdown.

    How will they do?

    Between Houstons wanting to deliver ass-kicking to inspire hope to local folk after Hurricane Harvey and Jaguars quarterback and offensive line woes it look like it might be a long afternoon for Pakimog and Jaguars.

    This Jaguars cheerleader sense what coming. Note pensive yet dismayed look on her face as she lounges in water attire in preparation for Irma’s drenching rains and upcoming game!.

  32. Pakimon says:

    Pakimog’s other team , the Eagles travel south to nation’s capital to battle Washington Skins of Color in another divisional showdown.

    Pakimog have better hope for this game but Pakimog take “wait and see” attitude before running mouth and do premature gloating.

    Since Eagles play away game, this cheerleader squeeze in one more photo shoot to pimp eco-friendly swimwear made from recycled mattresses or coconut husks or some such tree-huggy thing. 😀

  33. rightymouse says:

    Paki – am watching the Siesta Beach, Florida live cam. The birds are going bonkers.

  34. Octopus says:

    Watching a little MSNBC coverage, with the great Brian Williams. Haven’t seen or heard him in a long time — he’s still a smarmy douche! 😆

    I can only imagine the tales he could tell of hurricanes he’s encountered in the past. I think one time he rode a flying manatee for several hours, and kept reporting from the air. Epic!

  35. Octopus says:

    Chunky had to retweet this loon…

    • rightymouse says:

      I’ve seen one of his crockumentaries where he makes sure people understand that he’s a Christian before going into his gaia rantings. I hate it when people use Christianity for virtue signalling.

      • Octopus says:

        He’s been a nut for a long time, even before he adopted AGW as his victimhood card. Of course Chunky thinks he’s some kind of patron saint. 😆

        In a 1996 piece titled “Job and Matthew,” McKibben describes his arrival at college in 1978 as a liberal-leaning student with a suburban Protestant background. “My leftism grew more righteous in college,” he says, “but still there was something pro forma about it.” The problem? “Being white, male, straight, and of impeccably middle-class background, I could not realistically claim to be a victim of anything.”

        At one point, in what he calls a “loony” attempt to claim the mantle of victimhood, McKibben nearly convinced himself that he was part Irish so he could don a black armband as Bobby Sands and fellow members of the Provisional Irish Republican Army died in a hunger strike. Yet even as he failed to persuade himself he was Irish, McKibben continued to enthusiastically support every leftist-approved victim group he could find. Nonetheless, something was missing. None of these causes seemed truly his own. When McKibben almost single-handedly turned global warming into a public issue in 1989, his problem was solved. Now everyone could be a victim …

        Global warming allows the upper-middle-class to join the proletariat, cloaking erstwhile oppressors in the mantle of righteous victimhood.

        Good call.

    • Bunk X says:

  36. Octopus says:

    Funneh excerpt from Shrillary’s tome:

  37. Octopus says:

    The Lions are sucking up a storm! 😆

    • Octopus says:

      The Lions somehow managed to turn it around, and score 20 unanswered points. This team…so much heartburn. 😆

      • Pakimon says:

        I saw that as I sat stunned with amazement on how well the Jaguars played.

        Hey! They’re above .500 for the first time since 2011. 😀

        • Octopus says:

          Stafford got hammered on Twitter after throwing that pick-six on the second Lions play from scrimmage, but he more than made up for it the rest of the way. Of all the weaknesses Detroit has had, and still has in several areas, the problem is not at QB.

  38. Octopus says:

    One cannot make these things up. 😆

  39. ISTE says:

    I would like to build a home South West of Houston that is specifically designed to ride out a storm and need absolutely no repairs once the flood water recedes. Protection from hurricane/tornado strength winds is also possible but will obviously add to the expense.

    My home would be near a major river, the Brazos or the Colorado river and on the flood plain. Not in some artificially created “Sub Division” protected by levees. Why? you may ask. Well levees work both ways… Once floodwater breaches a levee, or when rainfall deluges these artificially made areas they flood. However when the river returns to normal levels that flood water is trapped the OTHER side of the levee..

    Build on an unprotected flood plane and it is like the tide going in and out at the sea shore. Drains as fast as it flooded. Not close to the coast though. Maybe 20 miles inland. A storm surge in the Gulf would ruin all my careful planning.

    So I have selected the type of location. Now the construction..

    Obviously raised. The main home would be the second floor. Supported on concrete and steel pilings and on a steel beam platform. On top of that I would place a single wide trailer. A decent size for example is 72 feet long by roughly 15 feet wide totaling 1,080 square feet. However I would be OK with 400-500 square feet. So, the steel beam platform would be 82 feet wide by 25 feet wide which would give me a very nice 5 feet walkway/veranda all arround it.

    Now you are laughing. You are envisioning a trailer perched on a platform 8 feet in the air, a classic tornado magnet. Well, around the trailer would be a protective steel beam “cage” Difficult to explain in words, I must try to draw it. The cage would have side walls and a roof and would be built like a “brick shit house” (a quaint English expression for being built very sturdy)

    Imagine those Russian doll things. Steel cage and siding is outside doll, my little trailer is two dolls in.

    Getting creative the shell over my trailer is a geodesic dome. A cool aerodynamic shape that will withstand high winds. Ever seen a ladybug still clinging to your windshield when you are doing 70mph?

    Safe space. A concrete sided room maybe 12 feet by 12 feet that has no door on the first floor and is water tight and is accesible from the second floor when winds decide to get really nasty. In Iowa it is called a basement and every home has one. In Texas there is no such thing, so you have to build one above ground.

    Car, yep thought of it. A cheap car lift that can lift 7000lbs over five feet is about $2000. Lift car above ground level into a space under the cage thingy and next to trailer home.
    I now have a home that can withstand anything nature can throw at me and my car is snuggled up safe.

    Electricity? A propane powered generator on the platform, but obviously on its own little platform and in its own cage.

    Water? That would be the well I would be using anyway living where I want to live. However the well casing would extend up to the platform and the pump and pressure tank would be out of harms way.

    Septic system. Well that continues as normal. LOL when I flush I do not need to worry where it goes..

    Finally, as my home is six to eight feet in the air what do I do with all that space under my home? Well, that is where workshop is tools can be moved upstairs when flood threat is known, where I store the junk I collect that I do not care if I lose.

    Reason for this rant?

    FEMA will pay anything from 100,000 to $350,000 for people to have their existing homes raised above flood levels.

    Hey FEMA give me a $50,000 grant and I will build a prototype new home showing HOW new homes in the flood plain of South West Houston should be constructed.

    Do not need FEMA. Next spring I will start building my “forever” home.

    • Octopus says:

      My fantasy hurricane house is situated on a cliff facing the Atlantic, with a 200-ft drop to the black rocks below, where the waves crash most dramatically. The house is built like a fortress, with thick reinforced-concrete walls, massive timbers and huge windows made of impregnable Plexiglas, of whatever thickness is required to stop a depleted-uranium tank shell. But really cute and quaint, the whole effect.

  40. rightymouse says:

  41. rightymouse says:

    Why??? What the hell is the obsession on the left with skin color????

  42. Octopus says:

    Ouch. If only you knew then, about how to avoid cratering your accidentally-successful blog. The horrible embarrassments you could have avoided, like the whole Pam-stiff-arm thing.

    You don’t get a lot of do-overs in this life, Fatass. I’m afraid you’re going to have to live with the begging bowls for the rest of your run. 😦

    • Bunk X says:

      00001180 01076 12 charles Mon, Sep 10, 2001 5:19:57am

      One thing I like about it: if I want an easily accessible copy of a weblog post (for example, the one with the all the mySQL links) I can just email it to myself.

      00001189 01079 2 charles Mon, Sep 10, 2001 11:33:34am

      Hmm. Only one person interested in testing so far? After all the positive comments when I first mentioned it I expected more of a response.
      Maybe the name isn’t sexy enough? Maybe it sounds a little too much like “fartmail”?

      00001191 01079 4 charles Mon, Sep 10, 2001 3:43:44pm

      christina wrote:Even better would be a tool to mail people one week’s worth of blog in a newsletter.
      Great idea! That sounds like a separate application; I think you just gave me my project for next weekend.

      00001201 01086 6 charles Tue, Sep 11, 2001 8:26:52am

      The creatures who did this were not human. Humanity is something you choose; when these things chose their course, plotted their evil, and carried it out, they relinquished the privilege of being considered human.
      Even more sickening are the scenes of celebration coming out of Palestine and other Islamic states. Such hate. Such joyous embracing of evil. It’s just soul-wrenching.

      • Pakimon says:

        Brings back memories of Mouse-Ka-Mania.

        Simpler times for a simple blogger. 😆

        • Octopus says:

          Notice the one peevish whine, though? “Only one person interested in testing so far?” 😆

          For the life of me, I can’t imagine why anyone would want to download a big, clunky mouse-cursor, that would only get in the way and inevitably malfunction all the time. And you say I can PAY you for the privilege, Sir? 😆

      • Pakimon says:

        If only he had been able to make the Editor work in low resolution.

        He’d have made millions and but Steve Jobs and Bill Gates to shame. 😆

    • Minnowredux says:

      Because…. it is all about you.

  43. Octopus says:

    Brian Williams just can’t help himself.

    Earlier today, the MSNBC anchor was reviewing photos of the storm surge that Hurricane Irma has caused in Florida. Williams discouraged people from going out in the harsh conditions, but at one point actually said “forward this picture on Instagram, pretend you shot it and pretend it’s yours. We’ll look the other way.”

    Now, Williams’ remarks were almost certainly intended as a joke but, uh, for Williams who was suspended from NBC in 2015 for embellishing his own reporting about the Iraq War, it’s the sort of comment that will draw unwanted attention.

    Chunky sez, “Yeah, I already do that every day.” 😆

    • Pakimon says:

      The wind is howling outside at about 50 to 60 mph with gusts to 70 to 80 mph. It’s pouring rain and my phone keeps honking flash flood warnings for my area.

      On the plus side, I’ve still got power, cable and internet (obviously) so I’ve got that going for me.

      I figured I’d get up and make a pot of coffee before the power goes out. 😀

    • Pakimon says:

      Now the Brian Williamized version of my last comment.

      “The wind is shrieking outside at 180+ mph and the building I am in is creaking, groaning and about to collapse. It’s pouring rain and the flood waters are about to rise to the third floor and my phone is out due to it being destroyed while being used to subdue a 20 ‘ alligator that came into the building along with the 20 ‘ storm surge.

      On the plus side, I was able to rescue the babies from the local orphanage from certain death and find them all loving, adoptive parents in the midst of this catastrophic storm of the ages so I got that going for me.

      Such selfless heroics is thirsty work so I’m going to partake in a mineral water before I get swept out to sea.”

      Pretty impressive stuff, eh? 😆

      • Octopus says:

        Took long enough for Irma to reach Jacksonville, eh? What’s with these slow-moving hurricanes nowadays?

        At this rate it will be October before this thing hits Detroit. 😡

    • !!!Trump is Teh Satan! Hit Theo lose tip!! jar! says:

      I kept straying to Maria’s cleavage. Mercy, she’s still got the hotness. And a very smart woman. I watch her on Fox Biz with that other cutey Dagan with the Texan drawl. Oh and they usually have some other jerks sitting around but who cares?

      • Octopus says:

        One of Joey’s last songs. Love it. 🙂

        • Bunk X says:

          Yeah.My day is now complete. The mouse we trapped in the closet is dead, the plan checker at the counter knows my structural engineer, and my sister is no longer pissed that I asked her if she had cancer on Facebook.

  44. TreBob says:

    Charles’ old girlfriend is getting a little wacky in her old age. Maybe old Charles has a chance now.

  45. Octopus says:

    He’s literally in Hog Heaven!

    @skot_lastname Believe it or not, I didn’t. It’s an honest statement of something I really believe.
    14 minutes ago
    @TheLoveBel0w How did you guess? Not just him, though – quite a few high-traffic wingnuts sent their followers to h……
    20 minutes ago
    Welp, here comes the post-Happy Hour wingnut wave.
    22 minutes ago
    However, those people live in the Middle East, so Trump fans are cheering him for this.…
    29 minutes ago
    By the way, for those saying Trump “hasn’t killed anyone”—as a matter of fact he’s already killed thousands of innocent people.
    30 minutes ago
    So many of the Trump fans blurting insults at me have adopted his “covfefe” typo as their usernames. Are they trying to look like dumbasses?
    39 minutes ago
    43 minutes ago
    RT @viciousbabushka: @Green_Footballs 100% correct! Trump can wreak far more damage on the USA than Al Qaeda ever dreamed of, and with the…
    55 minutes ago
    RT @JesseLehrich: unreal. now a ‘tribute video’ that’s entirely shots of Trump. no first responders, no memorial, nothing.…
    1 hour ago
    RT @punningpundit: Getting us to elect 45- or someone like him- was the long term goal of Al Queda. Looks like they basically won the war.…
    1 hour ago

  46. Minnowredux says:

    Charles, you have transcended your “new low” of yesterday (as noted above) with the confoundingly dense comparison of 9-11 to Trump’s election.

    Congratulations moron.

  47. dezes157 says:

    Does anyone remember Chuck having said he had family in the WTC before, I sure as hell do not!