How-to: Register a Trademark

Registering a trademark in the US can be a time consuming, hoops-jumping, and somewhat expensive exercise. Steps in the process include (but are not limited to):

  1. Choose between standard or stylized format (like a phrase vs. a logo; can’t be both)
  2. Clearly identify which goods or services the mark will apply to.
  3. Make sure that someone isn’t already submitting the same
  4. Specify a “basis” for submission (already being used in commerce, or intending to use)
  5. Got all that?  Then submit your mark using the online form.

Because of all the legalese and bureaucracy involved, most applicants consult an attorney before submission, especially because you won’t get your $325 back if you screw something up and it ultimately gets turned down.  Once submitted, it is reviewed several times over while the applicant fills out a few more legal documents (to keep it “live”) over the course of a few months.  Then, finally, if you’ve done everything right and the Fed gives you the stamp of approval, you get something like this:

LGF trademark (pdf)

Internet news aggregator? I wonder if those lizards penning the LGF Pages and submitting links know that they’re working for Johnson…for free (’cause the original CJ content has been a little thin for a long time). “Entertainment website” would have been a better description of the service, quite frankly.

Fact-Checking His Ample Ass

“Universally opposed to contraception”?

As booger-gate enters its second week, Charles ‘booger’ Johnson has re-deleted the 6.5 million pre-2009 comments [note – see update below] on LittleGreenFootballs which – if nothing else – hides the evidence of the extra 32,351 comments that made his ‘nine millionth comment’ announcement completely bogus.

Meanwhile, the new LGF zero tolerance policy against any mention of the DoD ‘stalkers’ (in a successful attempt to prevent embarrassing questions about Johnson’s ability to count and code) seems to be working.  Oh, engineerβ is busy hand-painting those mugs and tees, and irrepressible engineerφ is always dragging some newly found detritus into the boiler room, but overall the lack of attention is definitely sapping our collective will to mock. [Or not. :)]

So it was fun to find another bit of bloviation by Johnson, because at this point it’s nearly a given that Booger’s blanket assertions are routinely bogus (‘boogus’?). We just had to fact-check it:

We didn’t have Booger’s ready list of “religious right groups with ‘Family’ in their name”, so we searched the web and the first thing found was Focus on Family. More than content with a sample size not much smaller than Yamal, we checked their position on ‘contraception’, and, unremarkably, it’s far more nuanced than Johnson’s blanket “universally opposed to contraception”:

Focus on the Family holds that all human life is sacred, and that life begins with fertilization — the union of sperm and egg. We don’t believe that it’s wrong to prevent fertilization, but we oppose any method of so-called “birth control” that functions as an abortifacient — that is to say, any method that acts after fertilization to end a human life by preventing implantation in the womb. Intrauterine Devices (IUDs) fall into this category.

The point of this thread is not to raise the contentious issue of abortion – probably everyone here agrees that LGF was a better place when that particular conflictual issue was verboten. The point here is to fact-check Charles, which in this instance depends on one’s definitions of ‘universally’ and ‘opposed’ and ‘contraception’. But – absent a tortuous, Clintonesque parsing – our conclusion here is PANTS ON FIRE:

Update: The pre-2009 comments are now un-re-deleted as of 15Apr11 4:00GMT. Why does he do this? The ‘whys’ are about the only interesting questions left with the Johnson, the BRC has the whats, whens, whos, hows nailed. And unless he’s willing to give us a sample of his brain tissue (cf. the end of Ghostbusters) we’ll probably never know, lol. That’s one thing that makes the artsy-fartsy stuff – like the graphics and poetry and song parodies – so compelling — it helps fill in those blanks in the motivation. So c’mon Walter or somebody, get busy and put together the off-off-off-Broadway musical “LGF” and give us all some closure here! It’s a natural – this Johnson has got to be the farcical historical repeat of Boswell’s Johnson, n’est-ce pas?

The Sage of Culver City finally finds Nazis

Charles is having an orgasm! He actually spotted some Neo-Nazis!

So an open event that has a few tables with Nazis Proves Chuck’s theory of a Nazi resurgence. The 4th Reich lead by Reich Führer Ron Paul is about to take over! Only you, the Sage of Culver City can save us from this evil plot. Please help us Charles!